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this forum is fucking hilarious..
"HOLY $#!%! I GOT STABBED. WHAT SHOULD I DO?" (see below for my ten basic recommendations)
1. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Ideally you will either not put yourself in a situation where you get stabbed or else you'll employ some combination of badassery and body armor that prevents you from getting a stab wound. You could also try the tactic of bringing a gun to a knife fight... just don't get close enough to the knife-man to get stabbed when you do that.
I also humbly suggest a variation on what motorcycle riders call "riding within the limits of their abilities." Battle the forces of evil within the limits of your capability and you probably won't end up stabbed.
(N.B. Any pointy stabby thing can cause a stab wound, not just knives -- pencils, pens, combs, sticks, etc. In fact improvised stabby things usually cause worse stab wounds.)
2. "Okay, I disregarded all that and I've been stabbed. What now?" Speaking from personal experience here, right after you get a stab wound, there's a pretty good chance that you have someone standing in front of you holding a knife. Two stab wounds don't make a right. And stab wounds are shocking experiences... do your damnedest to ignore the stab wound and (preferably) run like hell.
But if you refuse to take my advice and opt for the better part of valor, then eliminate the threat as quickly as possible before you worry about your injury. (But my money is probably on knife guy -- after all, he's already demonstrated the ability to stab you once. And you know the old saying: "Stab me once, shame on you. Stab me over and over again until I die when all I had to do was run away, shame on me."
3. "I tried to eliminate the threat (with maximum prejudice), but that didn't work and I got stabbed a lot... including repeated stabbings in my face. And then I died. What now?"
I refer you to the religious or philosophical beliefs of your choice. Hopefully you lived a full life. And honestly, you had to know this could happen.
4. "Okay. I'm not dead and somehow I reached safety. What next?"
SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY!!!!!! (allow me to add: ...ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE A SUCKING CHEST WOUND [ETC] YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU DON'T.)
5. "No. Because if my secret identity is revealed then my loved ones will be placed in danger."
Right after you get stabbed is not the best time to realize this possibility. To misquote the ultimate inspiration for most RLSH: "What are you dense? Retarded or something? You're not the goddamned Batman!"
SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!
6. "No."
Okay then. If your injury is one of those that you inevitabley die from after a few minutes or hours, then I refer you to #3 above. If not...
You need to clean the wound and close it. So if you're not somewhere where you can do that, apply direct pressure (to the wound) and then go to a place where you can clean the wound and close it.
Next clean the wound with the most sterile substance you have available. Alcohol (including things like vodka, but not wine coolers, Chablis, or beer), Betadine, or even water are viable options.
Then you need to seal the wound. Stitches are probably best, which is why you should really have already sought medical attention long before now. But since you refuse, you need a needle and some good material for stitching yourself up. I recommend plain white dental floss. Not the minty flavored kind.
Don't try anything more stupid than your obstinate refusal to seek medical care. For example, don't get liquored up to dull the pain of giving yourself stitches. It probably won't hurt nearly as much as getting stabbed did.
7. "I lack the cajones to give myself stitches and I continue to refuse to see a doctor."
Butterfly bandages, duct tape, and super glue all work almost as well. The important thing is to seal the wound (don't let it gape) while it heals. You'll have a worse scar, though.
Healing could take a long time.
8. "Can I resume crime-fighting as usual even though my stab wound(s) hasn't healed yet?"
I advise against it.
9. "My wound isn't healing -- it's becoming infected and/or gangrenous."
SEEK MEDICAL AID.
"No."
Do you have any veterinarian type friends? Animal medicine is pretty much the same as people medicine. If someone doesn't treat you you're either going to die or lose a limb. Is that really the risk you're willing to take to keep your dear old Aunt May safe from Dr. Octopus who probably isn't going to go after her anyway?
10. My final bit of advice here. You should take your stab wound (or wounds) as a learning experience and take steps not to get stabbed again in the future. Don't let your ego lead you into situations you can't handle. Remember -- there's no "I" in "STAB WOUND."
"HOLY $#!%! I GOT STABBED. WHAT SHOULD I DO?" (see below for my ten basic recommendations)
1. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Ideally you will either not put yourself in a situation where you get stabbed or else you'll employ some combination of badassery and body armor that prevents you from getting a stab wound. You could also try the tactic of bringing a gun to a knife fight... just don't get close enough to the knife-man to get stabbed when you do that.
I also humbly suggest a variation on what motorcycle riders call "riding within the limits of their abilities." Battle the forces of evil within the limits of your capability and you probably won't end up stabbed.
(N.B. Any pointy stabby thing can cause a stab wound, not just knives -- pencils, pens, combs, sticks, etc. In fact improvised stabby things usually cause worse stab wounds.)
2. "Okay, I disregarded all that and I've been stabbed. What now?" Speaking from personal experience here, right after you get a stab wound, there's a pretty good chance that you have someone standing in front of you holding a knife. Two stab wounds don't make a right. And stab wounds are shocking experiences... do your damnedest to ignore the stab wound and (preferably) run like hell.
But if you refuse to take my advice and opt for the better part of valor, then eliminate the threat as quickly as possible before you worry about your injury. (But my money is probably on knife guy -- after all, he's already demonstrated the ability to stab you once. And you know the old saying: "Stab me once, shame on you. Stab me over and over again until I die when all I had to do was run away, shame on me."
3. "I tried to eliminate the threat (with maximum prejudice), but that didn't work and I got stabbed a lot... including repeated stabbings in my face. And then I died. What now?"
I refer you to the religious or philosophical beliefs of your choice. Hopefully you lived a full life. And honestly, you had to know this could happen.
4. "Okay. I'm not dead and somehow I reached safety. What next?"
SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY!!!!!! (allow me to add: ...ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE A SUCKING CHEST WOUND [ETC] YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU DON'T.)
5. "No. Because if my secret identity is revealed then my loved ones will be placed in danger."
Right after you get stabbed is not the best time to realize this possibility. To misquote the ultimate inspiration for most RLSH: "What are you dense? Retarded or something? You're not the goddamned Batman!"
SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!
6. "No."
Okay then. If your injury is one of those that you inevitabley die from after a few minutes or hours, then I refer you to #3 above. If not...
You need to clean the wound and close it. So if you're not somewhere where you can do that, apply direct pressure (to the wound) and then go to a place where you can clean the wound and close it.
Next clean the wound with the most sterile substance you have available. Alcohol (including things like vodka, but not wine coolers, Chablis, or beer), Betadine, or even water are viable options.
Then you need to seal the wound. Stitches are probably best, which is why you should really have already sought medical attention long before now. But since you refuse, you need a needle and some good material for stitching yourself up. I recommend plain white dental floss. Not the minty flavored kind.
Don't try anything more stupid than your obstinate refusal to seek medical care. For example, don't get liquored up to dull the pain of giving yourself stitches. It probably won't hurt nearly as much as getting stabbed did.
7. "I lack the cajones to give myself stitches and I continue to refuse to see a doctor."
Butterfly bandages, duct tape, and super glue all work almost as well. The important thing is to seal the wound (don't let it gape) while it heals. You'll have a worse scar, though.
Healing could take a long time.
8. "Can I resume crime-fighting as usual even though my stab wound(s) hasn't healed yet?"
I advise against it.
9. "My wound isn't healing -- it's becoming infected and/or gangrenous."
SEEK MEDICAL AID.
"No."
Do you have any veterinarian type friends? Animal medicine is pretty much the same as people medicine. If someone doesn't treat you you're either going to die or lose a limb. Is that really the risk you're willing to take to keep your dear old Aunt May safe from Dr. Octopus who probably isn't going to go after her anyway?
10. My final bit of advice here. You should take your stab wound (or wounds) as a learning experience and take steps not to get stabbed again in the future. Don't let your ego lead you into situations you can't handle. Remember -- there's no "I" in "STAB WOUND."
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