Fuck colonoscopies.

[71chevellejohn]

OMG I almost shot mountain dew out of nose, that's freakin hilarious, what a visual. I'm 52, had one several years ago. I woke up in the middle of the procedure laying on my side looking at this big screen goin what the hell is that then I realized what it was, kinda cool in a way, Lol. In recovery they say your bowel is full of air so we want you to rip the biggest fart ever, lol.

So you had your head up your ass for real...

:biggrin:

[JC316]

This prep shit (pun intended) is the most pain in the ass (see what I did there ?) stuff EVAR !!!

As if not being able to eat anything at all today was bad enough, I had to look forward to sitting here all fucking night dealing with this crap.

"Here, let me give you this gallon of goop to drink and let you be tortured by sitting on the shitter for 4 God Damned hours while pissing out your asshole. Thank you. Oh, and by the way, I'm going to need $900 from you when you come in tomorrow."

Yeah, FUCK YOU !

Ugh. Man I hate doing these damn colonoscopies. I guess it's more the prep than the actual scope, since they put you to sleep for the procedure. It's been several years since I've had one, and I pretty much remember it being this shitty (damn, I crack myself up sometimes !). This makes number 5.

Anyway, at least I'll be off work tomorrow. Bet your ass when I wake up from the anesthesia I'm getting something reaaallllllly good to eat for lunch though !! I'm freakin' starving ! Suck thing is though, I have to work 9a-12p on Saturday.

Ok, ok, I'll stop my crying and whining now.

-Aaron

My doc wanted me to take one every 6 months.... I told him to shove it.

[Denny]

My doc wanted me to take one every 6 months.... I told him to shove it.

So you agreed?

[JC316]

So you agreed?

Ugh, sleepy and I walked right into that one. Told him to shove it up his own ass.

[MutherjuggZ]

BTW let me know how it goes. My DR keeps hinting that I'll need one some time in the near future.


David

REALLY?! LOL!!! Let me know how it goes? Could there possibly be a good story out there? Positive feedback? I'm ROLLING over here hahahaha!

Sorry that just struck me funny

[03trubluGT]

LMAO

Speaking from experience there Matt?


David

Yup.

Had it done at 40. Versed is one he'll of a drug!

[71chevellejohn]

REALLY?! LOL!!! Let me know how it goes? Could there possibly be a good story out there? Positive feedback? I'm ROLLING over here hahahaha!

Sorry that just struck me funny

Maybe the "Dr" buys him breakfast in the AM...

[03trubluGT]

OMG I almost shot mountain dew out of nose, that's freakin hilarious, what a visual. I'm 52, had one several years ago. I woke up in the middle of the procedure laying on my side looking at this big screen goin what the hell is that then I realized what it was, kinda cool in a way, Lol. In recovery they say your bowel is full of air so we want you to rip the biggest fart ever, lol.

They give you two huge bottles, I think they are somewhere around 1.5 qts. They contain a "lemon/lime" powder that you mix with tap water and chill. You have to drink the first one as quick as you can, then drink the next one over a 2 hour time frame (if I remember right).

You start the day before, and can't eat any solid food after noon. In the afternoon, you drink the first one as quick as you can and then the second one about 8 oz at a time over a 2 hour time frame.

Once the first jug kicks in, you might as well be tethered to the toilet. When that stuff starts working, you will have a loose stool, and then horrific diarrhea. Since you can't eat, you are hungry, and start drinking Sprite and eating chicken soup broth. Since everything goes right through you, the broth comes out of your ass looking just like it went in your mouth. The whole point of the Movi-Prep is to evacuate your bowels, and trust me, it's like a chimeny sweep climbed up there and did a bang-up job.

The worst part was getting off the toilet, making it about 5 steps and then running back. I think I had a toilet ring imprint on my ass for a week after that. My ass was raw from all the toilet paper and wipes, just like your nose when you have a cold.

I used to say I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but there are a few people I would love to have go through this so I could laugh at them.

[CRASH]

They give you two huge bottles, I think they are somewhere around 1.5 qts. They contain a "lemon/lime" powder that you mix with tap water and chill. You have to drink the first one as quick as you can, then drink the next one over a 2 hour time frame (if I remember right).

You start the day before, and can't eat any solid food after noon. In the afternoon, you drink the first one as quick as you can and then the second one about 8 oz at a time over a 2 hour time frame.

Once the first jug kicks in, you might as well be tethered to the toilet. When that stuff starts working, you will have a loose stool, and then horrific diarrhea. Since you can't eat, you are hungry, and start drinking Sprite and eating chicken soup broth. Since everything goes right through you, the broth comes out of your ass looking just like it went in your mouth. The whole point of the Movi-Prep is to evacuate your bowels, and trust me, it's like a chimeny sweep climbed up there and did a bang-up job.

The worst part was getting off the toilet, making it about 5 steps and then running back. I think I had a toilet ring imprint on my ass for a week after that. My ass was raw from all the toilet paper and wipes, just like your nose when you have a cold.

I used to say I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but there are a few people I would love to have go through this so I could laugh at them.

Man, they told me no solid food, whatsoever, for the entire day yesterday. I couldn't have any dairy products, or anything red (red drinks, red jello). Then after the prep they said I could drink water only up until midnight, then nothing to eat or drink at all after midnight.

I quit drinking sodas about a month ago, because I want to lose some weight. Between running around at work, eating a little better, no sodas, and my hospital stay in October, I've lost 25 lbs. Well I could have carbonated beverages so I had to have a Dr. Pepper yesterday for breakfast and had a few glasses of sweet tea for lunch. By dinner time I was STARVING !!

My prep was a little different than yours. I just had one big ass jug, and had to add water. No flavor. Put it in the freezer to make it a little easier to drink. Then drink an 8oz glass every 15 minutes. After about the 3rd glass, it was hanging out on the toilet with a tv tray and the laptop for about the next 4 hours.

-Aaron

[The King]

You have TP?????

[CRASH]

You have TP?????

No. I fucking used it all last night !!

[Geor!]

I heard they blow your asshole up the size of a watermelon once the camera is in there! Enjoy!

[davbrucas]

It's called Go-Lytely and you drink 1.5 - 2Gal. Bowel prep is a bitch I bet.

[cobrajet69]

Gawd damned, after reading these stories, I think I'm going the Gerbal route, when that time comes.



David

[03trubluGT]

It's called Go-Lytely and you drink 1.5 - 2Gal. Bowel prep is a bitch I bet.

This is the stuff I took:

http://www.salix.com/products/moviprep/about.aspx

I know someone that had the same procedure, but his doc prescribed pills that did the same thing as the liquid Movi-Prep.