So I'm sitting here at my desk reading dfwm

[cobrajet69]

Believe me, shit got primal.

LMFAO

300lbs man against 14grm cockroach.

Film at 11.


David

[cobrajet69]

OK, everybody post your story.

Mine:

Back when I was young a partied hard.
Went to bed about 3am fairly drunk. I just get to lala land (that place between still aware and full-on sleep).

I'm on my side and hear something crawling behind me.
Me
I think it's just my imagination and start to fall asleep again - then I hear the ruffling again and my pillow starts to move. My eyes open and I'm dead still when all of a sudden something the size of a opossum JUMPS ON MY FUCKING NECK - AND STAYS THERE!!


I hesitate for a millisecond, thinking is this shit real? Then jump up and see the biggest fucking rat I've ever seen, falling back to the bed.

I scream like a bitch, grab a hockey stick and chase the fugger around the room. I finally corner it with my now upturned mattress (since the bastid tried hiding under it). I go get a cat we called Minnie the Moocher and throw that bitch on opossum rat. The cat freaked, then buried it's claws in opossum rats back - it makes a screeching yell then I finish him off with the hockey stick.

Bad night.


David

[03trubluGT]

OK, everybody post your story.

Mine:

Back when I was young a partied hard.
Went to bed about 3am fairly drunk. I just get to lala land (that place between still aware and full-on sleep).

I'm on my side and hear something crawling behind me.
Me
I think it's just my imagination and start to fall asleep again - then I hear the ruffling again and my pillow starts to move. My eyes open and I'm dead still when all of a sudden something the size of a opossum JUMPS ON MY FUCKING NECK - AND STAYS THERE!!


I hesitate for a millisecond, thinking is this shit real? Then jump up and see the biggest fucking rat I've ever seen, falling back to the bed.

I scream like a bitch, grab a hockey stick and chase the fugger around the room. I finally corner it with my now upturned mattress (since the bastid tried hiding under it). I go get a cat we called Minnie the Moocher and throw that bitch on opossum rat. The cat freaked, then buried it's claws in opossum rats back - it makes a screeching yell then I finish him off with the hockey stick.

Bad night.


David

I call bullshit.

You've never touched a hockey stick in your life.

[Foxy90GT]

one night i was sleeping and felt an itch on my nose, my reaction was to shake my face for whatever reason. as i opened my eyes i see a huge roach fly across the room. i had slung it across the room in the process of shaking my face. i yelled and tried to look for it to kill it but no luck. so i spent the rest of the night in a cocoon i made with my sheets and couldn't sleep the rest of the night hate bugs

[helosailor]

There have been a few times I was dead tired and would just be getting into bed and see a cockroach. Well, I don't care how tired I am, I cannot sleep if I know for a fact there is a cockroach in the room. I will stay awake until I find it and kill it with extreme prejudice and malice aforethought.
One night, I was sitting at my computer and heard a buzzing and then something land on the wall that's about 15' behind me. I get up, grab a shoe, turn on the light and there it is, a gigantic cockroach. I start to approach it, shoe at the ready, and then it launches...flying towards me but in a parallel path. I bring the shoe up, ready to knock it into next week. Right as it gets next to me, and before I can swing, it changes it's flight plan and comes right at me. I duck, thinking I missed it, and then I feel it land on the back of my neck and scamper down the back of my shirt. Well, I had my shirt off in what had to be some kind of record and then proceeded to flail my arms around like I was the champion at the Friday Night Sissy Fights. After what seemed like an eternity, but couldn't have been more than a few seconds, I realized the foul beast wasn't on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw it climbing on the wall. I then smashed it so fast and hard, I thought I'd damage the sheetrock. After smiting it with my mighty shoe, I congratulated it on being such a worthy adversary in the arena of battle.

[Treadhead]

LoL! Was it this guy? He is Jacques "The Cock" Roach. He escaped from our jail yesterday.

[grove rat]

soon as i read the first 4 words of the thread title and i say it was cj, i thought of this pic

[Tannerm]

This made me LOL! similar incident when I was young at home. Pouring cat food for my then pet cat and I see and feel a effing roach crawl up my arm from inside the cat food. Screamed, frolicked, and fought my way outa my shirt and bathroom. Later after I regained my senses, I returned to my bathroom to slay the beast. Spetz, my Russian blue cat, had already found it and was in the process of eating the rest of it. I put a hole in my wall from when I inadvertently kicked my leg I to the wall... Eff u roaches.

[03trubluGT]

LoL! Was it this guy? He is Jacques "The Cock" Roach. He escaped from our jail yesterday.

If I had any photoshop skillz whatsoever, I'd 'chop a Dr Pepper can that was about 1/2 the size of one of his legs into the pic.

[talisman]

I used the remote to turn on the ceiling fan at the lease one night and it rained down spiders on the bed ! I almost burnt the fuckin place to the ground ! I can totally relate to CJ almost beating himself to death tryin to kill it !

I would have completely lost my shit at that. Hooooly FUCK. Spiders are the ONLY creatures on this planet that bother me. I have no idea why. Creepy little motherfuckers.

LoL! Was it this guy? He is Jacques "The Cock" Roach. He escaped from our jail yesterday.

Paladin?

[CJ]

I would have completely lost my shit at that. Hooooly FUCK. Spiders are the ONLY creatures on this planet that bother me. I have no idea why. Creepy little motherfuckers.





Paladin?

LOL

It was definitely a roach. My wife was in the other room and all she heard me say was "what the... THE FUCK!" and then total chaos. I rarely react to seeing cockroaches, I just kill them, but the moment he went into my shirt I hadn't quite lost it yet, but then when he started running around inside my shirt I knew the time had come to act a fool.

[cobrajet69]

I call bullshit.

You've never touched a hockey stick in your life.

Not true.

Home defense 2.1.3
I hadn't quite made it to full version 3.0 yet (bang-pop).



David

[racrguy]

Lol@ the stories. I'll try the photoshop when I get home from work.

[ARIX]

Lmao when I first moved here I went to the movies off east chase. My girl and I left the windows on the firebird cracked. When we came out and got into the car she opened the visor mirror and there was a giant ass cockroach! We had never seen them that big. He damn near carjacked us. It took a while but we were lucky enough to locate his ass and stomp him!

[black2002ls]

I've had a few late night run ins with spiders. I have awoke in the middle of the night, from a dead sleep, from those freaky little bastards crawling on me. I remember clearing my entire room one time after finding one. I ended up on the other side of my weight bench, and the only way I could figure out I had gotten there was I simultaneously knocked the spider off of me and jumped out of the bed.