Boom B***h..... Adoption edition..

[Sgt Beavis]

When I updated my adoption thread, I stated that it was on the ropes and in danger of falling apart. Basically, the Birthmother was being a bitch and her Mom was looking for "compensation".

Two weeks ago we aired all issues with them and thought we had come to a resolution on everything but the birthmom being a bit nuts. However we decided to give it just one more chance.

Well, last Sunday a new birth mother called our adoption line. This one is from Granbury and she seemed to be rather nice. This lady outright gave us her phone number and invited us to have our agency call her. She was checking off all the things that give me the impression that she is for real.

That left us in a quandary. Do we outright quit the 1st adoption and go with the girl in Granbury? Do we tell this new girl that we already have a baby on the way (even though that looked to be in peril?) Or do we try to adopt both kids (lots more $$$$$)...

We prayed about it and our decision was actually quite easy because last Tuesday we went to the Dr with the 1st birth mother and she started acting crazy again. Then she cast the final fuckin' straw. She told my wife, "You're so lucky you can't have kids." and, "people that have kids are stupid.".

My bride was in tears and I had finally had enough. I put my arms around her and we walked out of the room. We walked straight to the car and never looked back. I didn't answer their calls either. I texted her Mom later and told her we wouldn't do it.

This was to be an Open Adoption, which means we would have a LONG relationship with that birth mother. Fuck that. I can't put my wife through that...

Now Fast forward to yesterday. We met the new birth mother at Chuck E Cheese so we could also meet her other children. She was actually very nice and Miyako had a good time with her. I played with the kids and had a great time. It was a very productive meeting. She is going to call our agency again on Tuesday and do a formal intake into their system. That will start the wheels turning for a formal match meeting where we will draw up an adoption agreement.

Unlike the original birth mom, this new girl is actually very sane. She's made her fair share of mistakes but during our talk she was owning up to them and showed me that she's trying to deal with her own issues. I can respect that. She has four kids (one adopted from an ex boyfriend that dumped the kid on her) The other three are hers and she knows she can't support another. That's where we come in..

Obviously there is a lot going here... I'll keep ya'll up to date on

[SMKR]

I pray for y'all almost daily man, thanks for the updates

[CexMashean]

Damn that's a lot to go through. you've got my best wishes that it works out!

[Jyard]

That first birth mother doesn't need to be getting knocked up if she's going to act that way. Especially saying people who have kids are stupid. Bitch needs to take a good look in the mirror, she's the stupid one. I've been following your adoption threads and wish you nothing but luck, I'm sure you'll be great parents.

[Musbrad2]

The wife and I are keeping our fingers crossed for you guys.

[Tx Redneck]

I'm sorry to hear about the experience Rick, that's terrible and I cannot imagine how devastating it was on your wife.

Man, it really makes me wonder if the open adoption route is the way to go. If one person is capable of being that cold, who's to say the next in the right moment wouldn't be too. Personally, I'd have to do some real soul searching about whether or not, in the end, the open route is the best thing.

Is their a particular reason for going the open route?

[racrguy]

Good luck. Hopefully this asswhip of a ride will turn out well and end soon for y'all.

[yellowstang]

Damn, what a roller coaster. Good luck, hope it all turns out in your favor.

[Sgt Beavis]

I'm sorry to hear about the experience Rick, that's terrible and I cannot imagine how devastating it was on your wife.

Man, it really makes me wonder if the open adoption route is the way to go. If one person is capable of being that cold, who's to say the next in the right moment wouldn't be too. Personally, I'd have to do some real soul searching about whether or not, in the end, the open route is the best thing.

Is their a particular reason for going the open route?

Actually Miyako was just fine within an hour because we had our answer and we had an alternative in place. I was pretty bummed about it because I saw this as the light at the end of the tunnel. Frankly I really like kids a lot. I'm like a human jungle gym to the kids at church. I got over everything in a day when we babysat for our friends that just had their third kid.

Open adoption is really good for the child if done in the right way. Obviously these two nuts wouldn't have made it right. Open adoption answers a lot of questions for the child as the grow up. They don't have to wonder where they came from. Obviously there can be challenges but generally speaking it has been shown to be much better for the mental makeup of the child as they get older.

[Sean88gt]

Wow...Hope everything works out in your favor. I can't imagine the pain of giving your kid up after recognizing you can't take care of it.

[Denny]

If you get any grief from a birthmother, it is probably best to go an alternate route. Chances are, it won't be the last (even after the birth). Remember, our courts are a little too forgiving to regretful birthmothers.

Good luck in your journey.

[tribaltalon]

Best of luck with the new chance, I hope it works out for you guys! I had a girlfriend who gave her baby up for adoption because she was young and had no means to support her and she was still really torn up about it years later. She had thought at the time she wouldn't want contact with her baby but was really regretting it when she had finally gotten her life in order and was stable. So I've seen both sides of the issue. It's a tough deal all around but from your posts I think yall will make excellent parents when you finally get a kid.

[71chevellejohn]

I know this has been an ongoing experience for you, hopefully it's smooth sailing from here on out.

[mikeb]

I can see the potential for endless grief with crazy birthmom #1 and her money grubbing mother - do ya'll really want to be hitched to that kind of insanity for years and years? OTOH, birthmom #2 sounds much more promising. Ya'll dodged a bullet IMO.

[Sgt Beavis]

An example of the crazy we were running into. When we first read this we thought it was addressed to Miyako (the MB at the end of it). I took a screen shot to make sure I had a record if they deleted it. We realized in subsequent postings that it wasn't Miyako. But still this was pretty damn bad.

Remember, these are "Christian" folk...