-
-
Holy jesus, I'm dying. That's some fucked up shit to do to someone, but the delivery is fucking GOLDEN. -
Is this Joe?Originally posted by Cmarsh93zComment
-
-
Holy shit, thats some funny stuff.
I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,
but pissing everyone off is a piece of cakeComment
-
Holy mother of God, these are hilarious~!!!!!!
My favorite so far:
Rocked
Posted at: 2011-05-21 08:50:30 | 427 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
Clean fill
Need clean fill rocks are fine. not much. cannot pick up must deliver. will take off you hands for free.
From Me to brad ********:
Hello,
I have some rocks I need to get rid of. I have several different types of rocks ranging from 1/2" to 6" rocks. Just let me know what kind you want, how much you need, and when I can send my guy to deliver.
Thanks,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
well i need them to fill a small whole in my backyard so bigger rocks i guess? 6 inch would be good. i only need like 2 wheelbarow loads so not too many. when can you deliver?
From Me to brad ********:
6" it is. I can have a truck there to deliver any time between 9-5 Monday through Friday. Where are you located?
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
do i have to be there for the delivery? i work every day so those times arent gonna work for me. if its cool could you drop them off tomorrow? just tell your guy to put them on the grass at the edge of my driveway next to the shed
heres my address:
517 *********** ln
coatesville, pa
From Me to brad ********:
No, you do not have to be there. I will forward this information to my driver and you can expect the rocks tomorrow.
From brad ******** to Me:
great
The rest of this conversation is the following day. I looked up his address in Google street view to figure out what his driveway looked like.
From Me to brad ********:
Hey Brad,
Just wanted to let you know, we actually need to get rid a few more rocks, so my guy is going to deliver them to your house in about 15 minutes.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
wait what how many more? i dont want any more i have nowhere to put them
From Me to brad ********:
We sent a truckload with about 8 tons of 6" rocks. Don't worry, all the rocks are free of charge.
From brad ******** to Me:
8 TONS? what the fuck you better tell your guy not to deliver them
From brad ******** to Me:
you got that? DONT DELIVER THE ROCKS
From Me to brad ********:
I just got off the phone with my guy, he said he just delivered the rocks. He told me you didn't leave him enough room for all 8 tons by the shed, so he just dumped them in front of your garage.
Best,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
WHAT THE FUCK!!!! i told you dont delever them you fucking dipshit! the fuck am i gonna do with all those rocks? you better get rid of them by the time i get home man..... how am i suposed to park my fucking car?
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry that we had to block your garage, but you should have left more room next to the shed if you wanted them dumped there. Unfortunately we lack the necessary machinery to load the rocks back into the truck so removal is not an option. Also, my driver said he accidentally backed into your shed and broke one of the windows. We apologize for this. Consider the free extra rocks as compensation for the damage.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDING ME MOTHER FUCKER YOUR PAYING FOR THE SHED
I LEFT YOU PLENTY FUCKING ROOM FOR THE AMT OF ROCKS I ASKEDFOR. YOU DIDNT SAY YOU WERE DELIVERIG 8 FUCKING TONS OF ROCKS YOU PEICE OF SHIT!!!! USE YOUR HANDS I DONT GIVE A FUCK HOW YOU DO IT BUT IF I FIND 8 TONS OF ROCKS IN MY DRIVE WAY THERE IS GONNA FUCKING HELL TO PAY
FUCKING ASSHOLE
From Me to brad ********:
Brad,
If you insist on us removing the rocks then we are going to have to charge you a $500 rock removal fee.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
THIS IS SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry you feel that way, but without the $500 removal fee, we cannot remove the rocks. I realize you must be upset about your shed, so if you like, we can deliver another 4 tons of rocks as our way of apologizing for the shed.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
NO DICKHEAD WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT MORE ROCKS??? DUMBASS
THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT. I DIDNT ASK FOR 8 TONS OF ROCKS AND IM NOT PAYING SHIT. YOU OWE ME FOR THE SHED AND YOU GET THOSE ROCKS THE FUCK OUT OF THERE YOU FUCKING PRICK
From Me to brad ********:
If you aren't paying, then you have to keep the rocks. These are really nice rocks, though. I'm sure you will be able to find use for them. I have a pile of rocks in my backyard and it makes for a great conversation piece. If deer are a problem in your backyard, you can use these rocks to throw at them. They also make great paperweights. There are plenty of things to do with these rocks, so enjoy them.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
im at my house now. where are the rocks?
From brad ******** to Me:
oh FUCK YOUToken Split Tail
Originally posted by slow99Lmao...my favorite female poster strikes again.
Originally posted by Pokulski-BlatzComment
-
Oh man that was some funny stuff. Loved the Jeep one. LOL!Good judgment comes from bad decisions and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.Comment
-
Love that site. Glad he finally got some new ones.Comment
-
great thread!!!
holy shit i am laughing my ass off!!!!!Comment
-
Cannot access from work and I so desire to after reading Lea's post.How do we forget ourselves? How do we forget our minds?
Comment
-
Jogging partner:
Original ad:
i want to get back into shape and am looking for a jogging partner. i always run better if i can keep the pace with someone else as i am sure other fellow runners know. i only work afternoons so i can run during the morning or night, doesnt matter much to me. shoot me an email if you want to be running partners
From Me to *************@*******.org:
Dear New Running Partner,
Hello! My name is Mustafi Chukwuemeka Adetokunbo, but my friends call me Wuemeka. I have just moved to Philadelphia from Kenya and I too am looking for a running partner. I run for twelve miles every morning, and another eight at night. I now run a 4 minute mile. I know this is slow, but no worry, I am aiming to run a 3:50 mile by next month. I most look forward to running with you, my new friend! Please respond with your contact information and where you would like to run. I am not so acquainted with Philadelphia, but I would prefer to run in densely forested areas if you know of any.
Run with you soon,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
wow man are you for real? theres no frickin way i can run a 4 minute mile!!!!!!!
From Me to Steve *****::
Dear Steve,
I am sorry to hear you cannot run a 4 minute mile. I can slow down my pace if you would like. How does a 4 minute 30 second mile sound?
Warm regards,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
HAH! dude i can run a 9 minute mile on a good day. thats it. im not training for the freaking olympics here...
From Me to Steve *****::
Nine minutes? Why are you so slow, friend? Nine minutes! Man oh man, is that slow! In my country, you would not survive! You would be eaten by a lion or speared by a rhino! I am very sorry for you my friend. You remind me of my last running partner Jumu, he was eaten by a cheetah!
Good day to you,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
yeah well this isnt africa this is PHILLY. we have crackheads here, not rhinos or cheetahs or elephants and we sure as shit dont have rainforests. come on man are you stupid?
From Me to Steve *****::
I am not stupid, you are the stupid one my friend! We will see who is the stupid one when you are being chased by a lion! We have a word for fools like you in Kenya - KUMAMAKO!
From Steve ***** to Me:
leave me the fuck alone jumanji!Last edited by Turbosvo; 09-04-2011, 09:35 PM.Comment
-
Original ad:
Wanted - CHILDRENS DVDS
Movies wanted for children aged 5 and up - will take all unwanted DVDs!
From Me to *********@**********.org:
Hey there!
I'm trying to get rid of a bunch of movies I've had since I was a kid. The movie stores won't take them, and it would be a shame for me to just throw them out. I'd love to pass them on to people who can enjoy them. Let me know if you are interested.
Mike
From Julia ****** to Me:
Mike - Which movies do you have and how much do you want for them?
From Me to Julia ******:
Julia,
Here is the full list:
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Alladin
Backdoor Creampies 2
Beauty and the Beast
Big Black Threesome
Fantasia
Finally 18 and Legal
The Lion King
Mattress Slaves 3
The Mighty Ducks
Toy Story
Wet Squirters 5
Please let me know which ones you want.
Thanks,
Mike
From Julia ****** to Me:
Mike...some of those titles are inappropriate.
From Me to Julia ******:
Julia,
Which titles are inappropriate?
Mike
From Julia ****** to Me:
I think you know which ones...
From Me to Julia ******:
Are you talking about Fantasia? I know, I thought it was a Vietnam war movie too. I assure you it has nothing to do with Asia and is completely appropriate for children. The only other title I think you are referring to as inappropriate is The Lion King, but I think you are confusing that with "The Scorpion King," the violent movie starring Dwayne Johnson. While the Lion King does have adult themes, it is nothing like The Scorpion King.
I hope this clears things up.
Mike
From Julia ****** to Me:
No...explain to me how these movies are for children??? Backdoor Creampies, Big Black Threesome, Finally 18 and Legal, Mattress Slaves 3, Wet Squirters 5. It sounds to me like you are trying to throw out your porn collection.
From Me to Julia ******:
Pornography? What a disgusting accusation! What kind of a person do you think I am? You have a really perverted mind if you think those movies are adult films.
You've really never heard of those movies? Where was your childhood? I'll find the plot summaries for you.
Backdoor Creampies - Cindy, a little girl with big ambitions, decides to open a bakery in her parents kitchen - selling pies to children who come to her backyard. Cindy learns that running a business isn't all fun and games in this hilarious tale of entrepreneurship.
Big Black Threesome - Barry, Billy and Bernie are three lovable black bears who have zany adventures during their quest for honey.
Finally 18 and Legal - A coming of age story about a young girl who becomes an independent woman.
Mattress Slaves 3 - Part 3 of the shocking documentary about slave labor in the mattress industry of third world countries. (Acceptable for kids, and in my opinion, a necessity to educate them on some real world issues. I never bought a foreign mattress again after this eye-opener.)
Wet Squirters 5 - The Squirters gang is back again in this heartwarming tale about a group of whales who try to find their long lost father in a vast ocean of wet sea critters.
Once again, I hope this clears things up for you.
Mike
From Julia ****** to Me:
You expect me to believe that all of those movies simply have unfortunate titles? Nice try.
From Me to Julia ******:
Sorry to disappoint your sick mind Julia, but yes, they are all children's movies. So do you want them or not?
By the way, I just found 3 more movies to add to the collection I am offering:
Toy Story 2
James and the Giant Peach
Walt Disney's Double Penetration Cockblasts 3
Mike
From Julia ****** to Me:
Okay I've had enough of this. You are a nut.
From Me to Julia ******:
Think of the children, Julia. They will never get to enjoy these classic films because of you.
From Julia ****** to Me:
Go to hell.Comment
-
The CD changer exchange was fucking hilarious.How do we forget ourselves? How do we forget our minds?
Comment
-
i regularly check that site, along with 27bslash6.com and the-editing-room.comwww.hppmotorsports.com
ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅComment
Tweet
Comment