Ex wife went through my phone...

[Big A]

LOL I need copies of your most recent pay stubs, a complete three agency credit report, your tax returns for 2007-2010, and a picture of your dick. Please use a Dr. Pepper can for reference.

Women are crazy. The best way I can describe it is by referencing the boy and the rattlesnake....I'm sure you've heard the story before. Substitute "The Future Ex-Mrs. Big A" for " Rattlesnake," and "You took half of everything, including my 401(k), AND I'm paying 20% for the first kid and 5% for the second, PLUS you stuck me with all of the debt" for "you will bite me and I'll die," and it sums up the typical woman.

The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.

They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.

He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

Never heard that story, sad but true. I'm addmitedly the "litle boy," and I will keep bringing them home, until one doesn't bite.

[Treasure Chest]

Right, but the woman has to agree. A judge or lawyer can't make her take less (unless it's a split 50/50) than the 18/20/25%, whichever you fall under.

Which he kind of made it sound like with saying he has Much more than standard and has the kids 70% of the time. With those terms, and paying full support, he got screwed or there is more to the story.

[Pro88LX]

I've got no argument with anything posted! I'm a kinky motherfucker!

does your wagon wheel have a few spokes knocked out of it?

[CJ]

trblshooter you're exceeding the maximum annual drama farming quota.

[bcoop]

It's pretty common practice to decrease the child support percentage when a father has an order that goes above and beyond the standard Wednesday and 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend order is what I'm saying.

Right, but the woman has to agree. A judge or lawyer can't make her take less (unless it's a split 50/50) than the 18/20/25%, whichever you fall under.

[Treasure Chest]

I have a bigger dick, and make more money, can I get your step sister's number?

I'm kidding of course, and I appreciate your candor. I've been trying to figure out women for almost 20 years, and I scratch my head a lot.

LOL I need copies of your most recent pay stubs, a complete three agency credit report, your tax returns for 2007-2010, and a picture of your dick. Please use a Dr. Pepper can for reference.

Women are crazy. The best way I can describe it is by referencing the boy and the rattlesnake....I'm sure you've heard the story before. Substitute "The Future Ex-Mrs. Big A" for " Rattlesnake," and "You took half of everything, including my 401(k), AND I'm paying 20% for the first kid and 5% for the second, PLUS you stuck me with all of the debt" for "you will bite me and I'll die," and it sums up the typical woman.

The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.

They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.

He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

[Treasure Chest]

FWIW - $20,000 is the going rate for a custody battle when you're a father, and that's a fact. I know from recent personal experience.

I know fathers get royally screwed in custody battles, and I've said before, I'm a HUGE proponent of paternal rights. Giving birth does not automatically make the mother the better suited parent.

It's pretty common practice to decrease the child support percentage when a father has an order that goes above and beyond the standard Wednesday and 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend order is what I'm saying.

[Big A]

I think they used up the level-headedness on me when I was born, because both of my biological sisters are stark, raving, crazy bitches. The step-sister is awesome and really sane, but she's in Austin AND has a pretty spectacular significant other.

I'm sorry to say, but I quit screwing women because they're nucking futs.

I have a bigger dick, and make more money, can I get your step sister's number?

I'm kidding of course, and I appreciate your candor. I've been trying to figure out women for almost 20 years, and I scratch my head a lot.

[bcoop]

Scenario 1) You didn't spend $20K on your custody battle. Scenario 2) You had a shitty lawyer that committed highway robbery. Scenario 3) There's much, MUCH more to the story.

FWIW - $20,000 is the going rate for a custody battle when you're a father, and that's a fact. I know from recent personal experience.

[Treasure Chest]

Do you have a sister in northern California?

I think they used up the level-headedness on me when I was born, because both of my biological sisters are stark, raving, crazy bitches. The step-sister is awesome and really sane, but she's in Austin AND has a pretty spectacular significant other.

I'm sorry to say, but I quit screwing women because they're nucking futs.

[Big A]

I'd say that I'm not a vindictive bitch by nature, but I'm a woman. The more accurate statement would be, "I've spent much time and effort to focus my powers for good, rather than evil. I've effectively fought my natural tendency to be a vindictive bitch for the good of my children." That being said, if I had ANY inkling that my ex-husband was sleeping with his glock under his pillow because he was in fear of his life after getting caught f*cking his neighbor's wife, you bet your sweet ass I would be getting an injunction barring him from overnights with the children. After all, if he feels he's in real danger, by default, my children would be in danger.




Scenario 1) You didn't spend $20K on your custody battle. Scenario 2) You had a shitty lawyer that committed highway robbery. Scenario 3) There's much, MUCH more to this story.

In my $2,000 divorce, on paper, my ex and I have a 2-day/2-day custody split. I maintain domicile, I maintain rights to claim both kids on my taxes, he pays 10% of his income in child support for the two kids MINUS the healthcare premium he pays for their insurance....I agreed to these terms amicably with him, without him even having an attorney.

In reality, he got a new job and a substantial raise, but he commutes to Nacogdoches for work, so I have the kids Sunday afternoon-Friday evening, he covers their insurance, pays effectively 5% of his current income in child support for two children, and I always let him claim one of the kids on his taxes. I could go to the DA's office tomorrow and file for a review of the child support, and I would be entitled to 25% of his gross income in child support, minus the healthcare premiums he pays. I'd still effectively quadruple the amount he's paying now. I don't do it because the friendly relationship I've managed to maintain with my ex-husband means more to me than the money. Being able to sit next to my ex at school programs, sporting events, graduations, weddings, birthday parties, ect, ect, ect, is much more important to me. I never want my kids to have to juggle mom and dad so they can have a decent time on their special day.
It all goes back to focusing my powers for the good of my children, rather than being an evil, vindictive bitch.

Do you have a sister in northern California?

[Treasure Chest]

^^^THIS! The custody agreement isn't permanent. Ever. She can take you back to court, at any time. Now, banging the ex, banging the married neighbor, etc, has no bearing on your ability to be a good father. But anything else she might have gathered from her text reading, certainly could. Simply being a man whore isn't enough to take the kids away in and of itself. But all it takes is a couple other bad decisions, coupled with those bad decisions, and a judge will yank those kids away faster than you can react. I don't mean to insult, but don't be a dumbass.


If a chick digs through my phone, we have no reason to be together. You trust me, or you don't. I don't give two flying fucks what reason you think you have, but dig through my phone, and we're done. It's also very easy to avoid with a security pin. Smooth move. I know you think it's funny, and in reality, it is. But just like Jen said, women are vindictive. They are evil cunts. Don't put anything past her at this point, because as we all know, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I'd say that I'm not a vindictive bitch by nature, but I'm a woman. The more accurate statement would be, "I've spent much time and effort to focus my powers for good, rather than evil. I've effectively fought my natural tendency to be a vindictive bitch for the good of my children." That being said, if I had ANY inkling that my ex-husband was sleeping with his glock under his pillow because he was in fear of his life after getting caught f*cking his neighbor's wife, you bet your sweet ass I would be getting an injunction barring him from overnights with the children. After all, if he feels he's in real danger, by default, my children would be in danger.

I agree with you in that aspect. Our court ordered schedule is more of a default in case things get hostile. In all reality I have the children 70% of the time and I'm still paying $1500 a month in CS.

The family court system is designed to keep lazy mothers off welfare and hard working fathers in poverty. Pure socialism, a complete transfer of wealth. Nuff said.

Scenario 1) You didn't spend $20K on your custody battle. Scenario 2) You had a shitty lawyer that committed highway robbery. Scenario 3) There's much, MUCH more to this story.

In my $2,000 divorce, on paper, my ex and I have a 2-day/2-day custody split. I maintain domicile, I maintain rights to claim both kids on my taxes, he pays 10% of his income in child support for the two kids MINUS the healthcare premium he pays for their insurance....I agreed to these terms amicably with him, without him even having an attorney.

In reality, he got a new job and a substantial raise, but he commutes to Nacogdoches for work, so I have the kids Sunday afternoon-Friday evening, he covers their insurance, pays effectively 5% of his current income in child support for two children, and I always let him claim one of the kids on his taxes. I could go to the DA's office tomorrow and file for a review of the child support, and I would be entitled to 25% of his gross income in child support, minus the healthcare premiums he pays. I'd still effectively quadruple the amount he's paying now. I don't do it because the friendly relationship I've managed to maintain with my ex-husband means more to me than the money. Being able to sit next to my ex at school programs, sporting events, graduations, weddings, birthday parties, ect, ect, ect, is much more important to me. I never want my kids to have to juggle mom and dad so they can have a decent time on their special day.
It all goes back to focusing my powers for the good of my children, rather than being an evil, vindictive bitch.

[Snatch Napkin]

I've got no argument with anything posted! I'm a kinky motherfucker!

<----- Raising glass in the air for a very hearty "HEAR, HEAR!"

[trblshooter]

lobster mac n chz!

They said I'll have access to the full menu even though I'm going stag. We'll see.

[bcoop]

Btw, got my button down on heading to CG for some good grub.

lobster mac n chz!