Whats your most akward experience in bed with someone that scared you

[kenny c]

Is 93LXHORSE not on this board???

[racrguy]

Is 93LXHORSE not on this board???

I believe he is, he just doesn't post much.

[kenny c]

I believe he is, he just doesn't post much.

Sorry... I forgot to hit the sarcasm post function.

[racrguy]

Sorry... I forgot to hit the sarcasm post function.

Been having disagreements with people all day, my sarcasm detector is broken.

[ThreeFingerPete]

Bill, in that little tiny brain of yours, do you really think calling my ex wife derogatory names in some way bothers, or affects me? I mean, I always knew you were pretty fucking stupid, but you're really going for the triathlon here.

I do hope that in his old age, he just gets tired of living and gives himself a 12g lobotomy. I can't stand that geriatric piece of shit.

[WildBill]

I do hope that in his old age, he just gets tired of living and gives himself a 12g lobotomy. I can't stand that geriatric piece of shit.

I can't stand your STUPID bitch ass.

[Jeremycg777]

I was fucking a girl who had the most amazing bubble butt I've ever seen. There wasn't a spot of cellulite on it, just the perfect mix of muscle and that good kind of firm fat. We were going at it doggy-style and it was fucking glorious.

I was pounding away at her when I realized I was a close to blowing one a little sooner than I like. So I went in balls deep and just started doing that thing where swirl your dick around like you're stirring the poon.

That's when she lets go of a gigantic hurricane force fart right against my abdomen, resulting in a fart zerbert.

The fart-zerbert produced the loudest fart sound I've heard outside of a movie sound effect, and it stank to high heaven. Just the feel of hot fart gas combined with the sensation of her vibrating butt cheeks pressed against me made me go from blue steel to bubble gum quicker than I would have thought humanly possible.

She was so embarrassed she started crying on the spot.

Then she had an anxiety attack.

Then she threw up.

Then she started telling me about how she had been in love with me since fourth grade.

Then I ran.

Best one I've read so far

[Mychael101]

This one time in college i was at rock bottom. I put so much time into this girl but she never gave up that ass. I was chillin at the dorm didn't feel like goin out, had no money, so i settled on chillin with my gay roomate and his fat-friend while we drank peppermint absolute vodka and watched old episodes of Clone High. I'mma call her courtney, not to protect her name, i just can't remember it.

Back then i would just drink hard liquor straight because i'd rather get it down and not have a bunch of mixer, filling up a nasty glass, and i'm guessing i didn't eat anything that whole day. Before this night i thought clone high was a decent show that mtv just didn't give a chance, because it ran only one season. Now, I hate it because of this night and i'll never watch it again.

So, as we're watching this lame shit, i'm getting drunk and in retro spect no one else is drinking. My roomate ends up passing out leaving me to watch this cheezy, highschoolish crushy bullshit with his fat lady friend, and i'm getting sloughshed. I was pretty depressed about not having hooked up with this chick i had become really good friends with and the combination of that and this cheezy show and this heffer in the room, who was starting to look less like a heffer and more like a garage to park my cock in, driinkin', was starting to wear on me i'd say.

the tv show was telling us both, go ahead, get yo shit wet, so i got up on that. We started making out, and not just casually, I had that big fat pig pressed up in that couch hard, at one point my gay roomate woke up and just made this feminine moan sound, while walking away to his bedroom.

My drunk-ass was still a bit functional, functional enough to deside that the best idea was to get this mongrel in the shower to clean her fat ass WRONG she was fully irish, must have been. when i got that bitch naked the only thing i could notice was her tan line, straight across from pit to pit with no deviation, everything above this line was freckles and blotching, everything below was straight white, and this bitch looked like a Battle Toad.

That and the shower had started a chain reaction that had begun to sober me up, I distinctly remember that. What the fuck was I doing? still i made sure that ass and pussy was clean and fresh, after we got out the shower we went into my room, we got in bed and I fingered that bitch good. When I thought it was all over, she rolled over and told me she wanted to "ride me", that wasn't happening, I pretended to pass out on her, it had to have been obvious.

And I'm never guna do that again.

not my story, but don't want the thread to die

[Snatch Napkin]

[Bad Religion]

I was really expecting this thread to deliver better...

[Taylor]

Well, we've done it again folks. Taken a perfectly good, interesting fun thread and turned it into a childish name calling game.

Smackatorium needs more love IMO.

[stevo]

Well, we've done it again folks. Taken a perfectly good, interesting fun thread and turned it into a childish name calling game.

Smackatorium needs more love IMO.

I beg to differ, it is my belief that the back porch just needs less sandy vagina.

Stevo

[racrguy]

I beg to differ, it is my belief that the back porch just needs less sandy vagina.

Stevo

Agree 100%

[Denny]

Well, we've done it again folks. Taken a perfectly good, interesting fun thread and turned it into a childish name calling game.

Smackatorium needs more love IMO.

Doesn't matter. Just about every story in this thread is completely fictitious.

[mstng86]

Doesn't matter. Just about every story in this thread is completely fictitious.

I am with you on the Mychael stories. They don't seem to be written by the same guy. There are some true ones, sprinkled in with some fiction in here.