Define Respect

[Silverback]

Unfortunately in your situation at the movie theater wasn't about respect for an individual, but common courtesy in situations involving other people.

Courtesy for others ofter gets confused with respect a lot.

The family should have had the courtesy to remove the child from the theater when it was crying. At the same time, you probably should have gotten up, involved management and let them try to handle the situation first. I'm sure you probably would have gotten a free movie pass out of the deal because of it.

The situation was already over when you confronted the family, and unfortunately rather than listen to your suggestions, they were on the defensive immediately. This seems all too common these days when common courtesy suggestions arise.

I don't think the way you handled it was wrong, but in terms of respect, it's probably the wrong classification.

As for people you manage, who you hope respect you, that form of respect is earned based upon your actions at work. If they respect you out of work, it may carry over from the work related respect, but it's also probably due to how you handle yourself in other situations, that earned their respect there as well.

[BLAKE]

I should have been more clear. Respect out of fear is not respect, it's fear.

I see where you're going there, and this may be semantics, but I believe it is correct to say something like: you show respect to an alligator by not putting yourself in the position to be bit by said alligator. Again, it's semantics, but I think it plays into the discussion.

I guess it depends on the circumstance. In martial arts I both feared and respected certain people, so I can see both existing in certain circumstances, say as a professional fighter, or even in the military.

I have more than a few years in martial arts and I know exactly what you're talking about. It makes me more confident in a confrontation, but it also has informed me to the degree that I believe in the concept of "the only fight you win is the fight you don't have to throw a punch in".

If your a good person, you should get respect. Period.

I want that to be true. I don't think it plays out that way most times, but hell, I'm an idealist.

What I failed to expound upon in the previous too-long-post, was that the outcome of the after-movie-fight that never happened was that I got a tangible response from all of my coworkers that they knew not to fuck with me, and I think it had a positive effect on the in-office experience.

Was standing strong and having the willingness and ability to beat some poor assholes down impactfull on my managerial life?

[BLAKE]

Unfortunately in your situation at the movie theater wasn't about respect for an individual, but common courtesy in situations involving other people.

Courtesy for others ofter gets confused with respect a lot.

The family should have had the courtesy to remove the child from the theater when it was crying. At the same time, you probably should have gotten up, involved management and let them try to handle the situation first. I'm sure you probably would have gotten a free movie pass out of the deal because of it.

The situation was already over when you confronted the family, and unfortunately rather than listen to your suggestions, they were on the defensive immediately. This seems all too common these days when common courtesy suggestions arise.

I don't think the way you handled it was wrong, but in terms of respect, it's probably the wrong classification.

As for people you manage, who you hope respect you, that form of respect is earned based upon your actions at work. If they respect you out of work, it may carry over from the work related respect, but it's also probably due to how you handle yourself in other situations, that earned their respect there as well.

You are right on in all of this. See my previous explanation of post-confrontation for more juicy content to respond to.

[Silverback]

Was standing strong and having the willingness and ability to beat some poor assholes down impactful on my managerial life?

yes and no, i don't think it's the fact that you could have fought the other person, but it's the fact that you handled the situation in a no-nonsense way. Others you work with see that outside of work, as well as at work where you've probably already demonstrated it, that you aren't a pushover, are willing to state your opinion in a strong and no nonsense manner, and don't take shit or BS from people.

[BLAKE]

yes and no, i don't think it's the fact that you could have fought the other person, but it's the fact that you handled the situation in a no-nonsense way. Others you work with see that outside of work, as well as at work where you've probably already demonstrated it, that you aren't a pushover, are willing to state you opinion in a strong and no nonsense manner, and don't take shit or BS from people.

Damn, sir. Seems like either you're comprehension is on point, or I have a way with words, or both. I would like to think that what you just said is the way of things, and I believe that to be true. I guess that one thing I was trying to explore with this question is where is the line between type-A dictator and "everybody's best friend" style motivator.

I'm trying to keep myself in check so that "mutual respect" doesn't turn into "run over the manager that's nice to you" also.

[Jimbo]

My thoughts have already been posted, thanks silverback, so I will just say that this is a refreshing discussion. The world I live in has become overpopulated by people unwilling or unable to have a discussion at this basic level. Good read, carry on.

[Ruffdaddy]

Maybe you could have said it more politely or asked instead of thinking people fear and respect you because you throw orders and look like Sasquatch? Most people don't respond well to that type of stuff...especially inconsiderate assholes who bring babies to movies.

I wouldn't respect that either, and thinking physical size has anything to do with it is silly. My friends would have taunted you hardcore after that. Granted we aren't inconsiderate pricks in movies...

[ELVIS]

you dont have to earn my respect, it is given. my disrespect is something people have to show they are worthy of.

and just for the record, big matt is actually scared shitless of me! i have the text message he sent me to prove it

god bless.

[mustangguy289]

Respect.... what men need, and women need to give. Says so in the Bible.

[BlackGT]

Way too serious up in here this morning!

[forbes]

fear is an emotion you place upon yourself
respect is an emotion you place on others
it is my opinion that the 2 have nothing in common other than being emotions.
you can not place fear onto somebody
nor can you force some one to respect you

[BERNIE MOSFET]

Fear of consequences deters most abhorrent behavior. Perhaps respect could be described as fear of compunction for behaving poorly to someone held in some esteem.

Disappointing someone you respect generally hurts way worse than any real consequences you might incur by the same act.

[DON SVO]

Respect is a mutual understanding and agreement between two parties. This can be achieved a variety of ways, but at the bottom of any manner of respect there has to be a sense of cohesion. You can respect those you fear as easily as you can loathe them. Respect is certainly earned but it is also reciprocated.

[forbes]

Respect is a mutual understanding and agreement between two parties. This can be achieved a variety of ways, but at the bottom of any manner of respect there has to be a sense of cohesion. You can respect those you fear as easily as you can loathe them. Respect is certainly earned but it is also reciprocated.

im gonna have to disagree with part of this..."Respect is a mutual understanding and agreement between two parties"
2 parties are not needed.. people respect ideas and feelings without knowing each other
Ex. a person can respect jesus with out him knowing it, they can respect the difference of a theory without knowing the person

[Nash B.]

Blake, you don't have my respect unless you told the old man to go outside and start practicing swallowing teeth, and told the kid you're going to hit him so hard that the old man's old man feels it.

Bonus points if you threw in a solid Billy Jack quote.