Anyone know what a Six Sigma Green Belt Certification is?

[yellowstang]

Fuck that noise! Let's start a Seven Sigma certification, and fire all Six Sigma certifed looney MoFo's! That'll save money in high salaries.

[jluv]

No it is retarded. They analyze a product or process, implement numbers and statistics to it, force unrealistic goals and concepts on the process and you come out with a cluster fuck.

The company I'm at now did the Six Sigma Lean process. It was exactly what it sounded like, even though they swore nothing major would change. They got rid of a lot of people and put all of their work on the ones who stayed. They also froze raises, upped quotas, etc. The whole idea was for the company to be "lean" and do as much as possible with less expense and less resources. The ironic thing is that they obviously paid these SIx Sigma people an assload to come in and fuck everything up.

It amazes me the type of blatant made up bullshit scams that big business will gobble up like it's the best thing ever. Are the pitch men that damn good, or are these companies just that desperate?

Or maybe it normally works wonders and I'm just jaded because it made things worse around here.

[mstng86]

Or maybe it normally works wonders and I'm just jaded because it made things worse around here.

Nope, same story for me.

[Slowhand]

The company I'm at now did the Six Sigma Lean process. It was exactly what it sounded like, even though they swore nothing major would change. They got rid of a lot of people and put all of their work on the ones who stayed. They also froze raises, upped quotas, etc. The whole idea was for the company to be "lean" and do as much as possible with less expense and less resources. The ironic thing is that they obviously paid these SIx Sigma people an assload to come in and fuck everything up.

It amazes me the type of blatant made up bullshit scams that big business will gobble up like it's the best thing ever. Are the pitch men that damn good, or are these companies just that desperate?

Or maybe it normally works wonders and I'm just jaded because it made things worse around here.

Six Sigma originated in manufacturing alongside Goldratt's Theory of Constraints. I've got not doubt that it probably works well enough in a manufacturing environment, but I've never understood how it was supposed to translate to a sales/HR-intensive/non-manufacturing process.

The way I see it, it can work in a select few environments, and the pitch men have sold the shit out of it to firms and management that don't really have a use for it.

[Saleen781]

Six Sigma originated in manufacturing alongside Goldratt's Theory of Constraints. I've got not doubt that it probably works well enough in a manufacturing environment, but I've never understood how it was supposed to translate to a sales/HR-intensive/non-manufacturing process.

The way I see it, it can work in a select few environments, and the pitch men have sold the shit out of it to firms and management that don't really have a use for it.

We have a winner. It's another way to get good people laid off and those left suffer from more work. Citi uses it and they are extremely fucked up internally now, all the good people went to the competition and took Citi's clients with them. Bam!

[Chas_svo]

Nope, it's not just boa. Several large aircraft manufacturers bought into that bs as well. It is good if ur the green-black belt, but otherwise it sux.

It must look great on a resume, and might help you in your job to know about it, but just like many above have said - you don't want to be on the receiving end of it. Also, it only has a chance or being good in manufacturing if the numbers used are validated, which is not usually the case.

[mstng86]

Nope, it's not just boa. Several large aircraft manufacturers bought into that bs as well. It is good if ur the green-black belt, but otherwise it sux.

It must look great on a resume, and might help you in your job to know about it, but just like many above have said - you don't want to be on the receiving end of it. Also, it only has a chance or being good in manufacturing if the numbers used are validated, which is not usually the case.

Bingo.

[Broncojohnny]

High up management types aren't as bright as people think. As I get older I have realized that a lot of these people really aren't any better at management than I am. They will fall for all sorts of buzz words, fad ideas and just plain old nonsense.

My favorite one is the books they try to get their underlings to read. These guys will go on some "retreat" and some asshole there will be pushing some hot new book like "Good to great" or "Who moved my cheese" or some other horseshit. "Good to great" is a wonderful example of this fucking nonsense, if I remember correctly the book was written about a decade ago and detailed something like ten companies whose operations were supposed to be top notch. Since the book was written I believe two or three of them have failed.

[stinginstang]

This process was never intended or designed to be used on people. Most companies do see immediate benefits from leaning processes and procedures. Long term, I think it sucks the life out of the company and the people that work there. As far as these green belt and black belt jack offs - they've gotten so good at the job, they've leaned themselves to unemployment.

[Tyrone Biggums]

I have followed the "Who Moved My Cheese?" system for over a decade now, and it has proven my success to this day.

[payne5757]

Even the Navy and Marine are startin to buy into the Lean Six Sigma shit.

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[Chili]

I worked for GE for a number of years. I had all of the Green Belt training and passed the test but to get the actual certification you ha to participate in a green belt project. A month after I passed the test we started using Lean Six Sigma and all Green Belt projects were suspended. So I am trained and tested, but do not officially have the certification.

[stinginstang]

I worked for GE for a number of years. I had all of the Green Belt training and passed the test but to get the actual certification you ha to participate in a green belt project. A month after I passed the test we started using Lean Six Sigma and all Green Belt projects were suspended. So I am trained and tested, but do not officially have the certification.

that's a shame. GE is like the Harvard for Six Sigma certification.

[Sean88gt]

It's a way for middle managers with a statistics calculator to feel the validation they so deeply desire. I worked with a couple of gents at GE that were working to implement a newly designed 6-lil-sigma system with vendor management/automated purchasing. The layout was very straight forward, but the amount of reports and time spent generating reports to satisfy the standard deviation that GE deemed was required for the operation to be a success was far greater than the payout.

[Strychnine]

I have a 6 Sigma project that's overdue at the moment.


You know why it's late? I was busy doing work.


I want to do a 6 Sigma project on the futility of 6 Sigma-ing anything other than manufacturing... but I don't think the black belts would see the humor