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I have a mediation hearing next Friday and I'm wanting to know what I'm walking into. I'm pretty stoked to see some progression in my custody case, its been carrying on for nearly 2 years. Thanks in advance guys.
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I just went to a pre-trial hearing, what court yours in, hope it isnt with the man hating wench I got -
Just talk to bcoop. That man has seen it all.Comment
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For the record, I never had to do mediation. My case was open and shut. I am days away from a finalized divorce with my daughter's mother, and against my better judgement, I decided to leave things be on this one. I wanted 50/50. She wanted standard visitation or less. We were able to compromise on a play on extended standard, with a step up agreement (I get more time with her as she gets older).
That said, I've never actually experienced it, but know enough about the proccess to know what to expect.
Where are you going to mediation at? You do have an attorney, right? Does she have an attorney?
Usually, when both parties have an atty, the attys have to agree on a mediator. There are good mediators, and there are bad. You can tell which is which by the rate they charge. I know the best mediator in Dallas County charges $2000 per day, per side. Former atty, then family court judge, etc. So you'd be on the hook for $2,000, and so would the mother. I do know of another good one in Dallas, and she charges $750 a day. She just doesn't have as storied of a resume as the one lady.
Basically, here is what it boils down to. Your attorney, nor her attorney can make anyone agree to anything. Read that again. They can't make you do something you don't want to do. Period. But keep in mind, the mediator is going to have the best feel of where each side sits. He/she may tell you, these are the points the opposing party simply will not agree to. Then you and your attorney modify, or stand your ground. You will likely be placed in a room with your attorney, offered drinks, snack, etc. She will be placed in a different room with her atty, and offered the same. The mediator will go back and forth between the two rooms. Your attorney will tell you when to stick to something, and when to back up. The mediator will have a feel for things as well, and may say something like "Well if you allow this, she'll give up this" and shit like that.
Now, don't be a fool. Don't stand your ground unless you are 100% positive you have the proof or evidence to back up your reasoning as to why you are sticking to your guns on any particular item. Because there is absolutely NO guarantee a judge is going to see things the same way you do. But at the same time, don't bend over and take it up the ass just because her atty is trying to be a hardass. Neither one cane make you agree to anything. Mediation is simply court ordered before a judge will hear the case in most cases. Not all the time, but a large majority of it.
Remember, you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. I don't give a fuck if she assaults you in the parking lot beforehand. Calm, cool, and collected. AT ALL TIMES. Do your best to remain professional. Treat this as a business dealing. When discussing the child, refer to said child as "our son/daughter" not MY son/daughter. Be VERY careful of what you say on "I want this, I won't accept this, I, Me, My, I, I, I. Everything needs to be spoken and portrayed as what is in the best interest of the child.
Good luck man. I know you're beyond ready for this shit to be overwith. Seriously, I wish you nothing but the best. This shit is difficult to deal with. Very stressful, and very emotional. Just stay as calm as possible. Woosah, motherfucker.Originally posted by BradMOriginally posted by LeahComment
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I'm in Ellis Co. and we have a new judge as of Dec. last year.Originally posted by DTM_Motorsports View Post
Bcoop hit the nail on the head. I've never lost my cool, gotten upset or said something I would regret. I can't say the same for my ex and her family. I was given an offer of a signed quit claim deed on the house in exchange for me dropping the assault charges on her. We all knew that wasn't going to happen.
I'm happy to report that my character has been tested and I made it to the other side. Luckily, I've been very good at documenting every violation my ex makes and they are numerous and significant. Only violation I'm guilty of is getting behind on the house and that is it. I'll be prepared to stand my ground and my attorney, my ex, and my ex's attorney all know this.
We'll just have to see how things go.Last edited by Mychael101; 06-15-2011, 07:26 PM.Comment
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Me and my ex had to use one when I fought for rights to my youngest. Worked out quite pleasantly for me. They look at the facts from the legal side and do what is in the best interest of the child. At least ours did.Comment
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This is what I find extremely encouraging to see. Should this occur in my case the I'm very optimistic about the outcome. I do think that the timing of our mediation is very suspect seeing that my assault case against my ex is the following Friday.Originally posted by 94form2000z View Post
Looks like on Monday I'll be requesting my assault hearing be moved up to next Weds or Thurs.Comment
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