Is it ever okay to tell your son his father is a POS?

[OrangeChevyII]

No, he'll figure it out on his own. Let it be and kill the ex with kindness. Be the Bigger and better person and don't stoop to his level.

[MutherjuggZ]

I have never spoken ill of my ex in front of our 12 yr old son, and I've never thought I would, but I'm getting to a point of not being able to keep my mouth shut any longer.

When I met him, he was just out of the airforce, had a decent job, ect, but soon after we married, that all went to shit, and we divorced within the year.

He hasn't held down a job in years, hardly pays child support, is deep in arrears, his wife pays all of their bills, but his saving grace was that he saw his son every weekend. He's not a father, he's always acted like more of a big brother or a buddy, and my son absolutely idolizes him. This sucks because he's not the example of a man that I want for my child, and I already see similar patterns of lacking work ethic, and lack of personal responsibility. To add to it, he's only seeing him about once a month now, and leaving it up to me to explain why. The reason is because he's been in and out of the hospital, claiming that he thinks he has MS, or he thinks he's in liver failure, or some other random bullshit excuse for not getting a job....all of his labs, CT Scans, MRIs are normal, and no one can find anything wrong with him.

I'm on the quick end of losing my patience and telling him that his father is useless and that he should in no way attempt to emulate someone who's never had himself CLOSE to together in the 40 years he's been on this planet. I've always attempted to set and example, and surround him with positive male role models with goals and ambition, but he doesn't get it.

Among the guys in my life, there seems to be a heavier weight among the opinion that nothing should be said, he'll figure it out when he gets older, but I'm skeptical that he'll ever figure it out, and the thought of raising a lazy ass fuck is enough to make me want to shoot kittens.

You can NOT, under ANY circumstances... take the low road here. His actions, and your reactions, are what set you two far apart from the type of parent y'all are being to your son. A lot of times, being a parent is a thank-less task.... because they're just children.

Your son is simply not old enough or mature enough to understand the short comings of his father and process those failures properly. Not only that, but he will certainly ask his father about the information you share and that gives father the green light to say WTF ever he wants, and deny his actions....true or not. This will only complicate things further with your relationship with your son, and no child OR parent needs that level of drama.

One day everything is going to click, and he is going to be old enough / mature enough to have that conversation with you. It will be then, that you will have your opportunity to carefully select the words necessary to help him close any unanswered questions he may have about his childhood.

[Treasure Chest]

Sounds like your sperm donors' sales pitch was more advanced than your education on being the consumer of cock.

That's where the whole 'youth and inexperience' thing comes into play.

[KungFuHamster]

my buddies parents split when they were like 17 yrs old (yeah they started young) and he never saw his father growing up.

when we turned 16, his dad wound up moving back to town and starting a business right down from my house.

when my buddy started driving he would go visit his dad, even though his mother had forbidden it. when she found it it cause lots of problems because she didnt want him around his dad.

he turned 18 and then she technically couldnt say anything about the matter anymore so she stopped. I would go with him to visit his dad and realized the first year or two it was catching up on the years...but then i would notice my buddy was always hitting his dad up for cash, or borrowing his truck or Trans Am for dates and shit.

before you know it the visits became less frequent because the dads business was going down and he wrecked his truck and Trans Am. when my buddy realized the only real reason he was going was to milk him for shit he pretty much quit going to see him because that was really the only reason.

im glad my parents never got divorced.

[MutherjuggZ]

Sounds like your sperm donors' sales pitch was more advanced than your education on being the consumer of cock.

Damn Grape! I'm gonna buy you a hooker... maybe that'll get the bitter taste out of your mouth LOL!!!


Having sex with anyone rolls the dice on possibly making babies... You're just mad that your meat market doesn't have any shoppers! LOL I keed

[Grape]

Damn Grape! I'm gonna buy you a hooker... maybe that'll get the bitter taste out of your mouth LOL!!!


Having sex with anyone rolls the dice on possibly making babies... You're just mad that your meat market doesn't have any shoppers! LOL I keed

yawn....i'm just jelous of said sales pitch. well, not really

[MutherjuggZ]

yawn....i'm just jelous of said sales pitch. well, not really

Hey you have a few good ones, don't feel bad sugar britches LOL!!

[Grape]

Hey you have a few good ones, don't feel bad sugar britches LOL!!

wanna see the back seat of my lambo? current fav

[SS Junk]

Your problems are not your son's problems. Leave the father out of it. You start badmouthing him it can reflect badly on your son's behavior. Ask me how I know...