Is it ever okay to tell your son his father is a POS?

[Silverback]

Again youre assuming that your son's actions are directly linked to his father's.

Try giving yourself a bit more credit, and stop focusing on their similarities so much.

Hes just a kid, being a kid. Help him understand what your expectations are. For some reason a lot of women have thia problem and im not sure why. Its almost like you expect him to read your mind and know exactly what you want.

Maybe you should have told him all of the weeds need to be picked up before you can play. Ill pay you for the weeds you pull both quantity and quality, but the job is not done when you decide you have earned enough, the job is over when I, the boss, say that everything is to MY, the boss's, satisfaction.

[YALE]

It doesn't matter if he's slacking. Let him be, and your son will see him for what he is. Especially considering he'll be living with Robert. Your son will see the difference and learn what's right without too much prompting. When men are still boys, the ones of us that are generally all right tend to gravitate to the male role models in our lives that have their shit together. If your son likes Robert already, and Rob involves him in his life, your son will get it. Just be patient.

[Treasure Chest]

Again youre assuming that your son's actions are directly linked to his father's.

Try giving yourself a bit more credit, and stop focusing on their similarities so much.

Hes just a kid, being a kid. Help him understand what your expectations are. For some reason a lot of women have thia problem and im not sure why. Its almost like you expect him to read your mind and know exactly what you want.

Maybe you should have told him all of the weeds need to be picked up before you can play. Ill pay you for the weeds you pull both quantity and quality, but the job is not done when you decide you have earned enough, the job is over when I, the boss, say that everything is to MY, the boss's, satisfaction.

You're right. I assumed that he'd take more of the mindset that Robert and I did as kids. Had our parents told us we'd get 10 cents a weed, there wouldn't have been a weed left in the place. I try to find the balance between what's just being a kid and the school of thought they teach you in psychology that your core personality traits are set in stone by adolescence, but it's difficult to not worry when you have a 12 yr old being a 12 yr old and 40 yr old being a 12 yr old.

We did decide to not let him do commission based chores, though. The next time he wanted to make 10 bucks, we had him clean the shop to Robert's standards.

[Big A]

As some my try to deny it, genetics have a bit to do with who we are as people. As he gets older and becomes more aware of who he wants to be, your son will hopefully make conscience decisions to disregard the natural behaviours and thought processes that he got obviously got from his dad. I'm by no means saying that it's an excuse, but simply an explanation for his behaviour. We are very much different from our parents in many ways, but we also share some basic brain chemistry, that effect our emotions and intellect in a similar way it does our parents in some basic ways.

Hopefully as he grows up he will eventually see how that train of thought has made his dad so worthless, and try very hard not to follow in is footsteps. In extreme cases some kids follow in the footsteps of thier parents, and others do everything in their power to go the opposite direction.

[Treasure Chest]

It doesn't matter if he's slacking. Let him be, and your son will see him for what he is. Especially considering he'll be living with Robert. Your son will see the difference and learn what's right without too much prompting. When men are still boys, the ones of us that are generally all right tend to gravitate to the male role models in our lives that have their shit together. If your son likes Robert already, and Rob involves him in his life, your son will get it. Just be patient.

Very true. There's been quite a bit of improvement since Robert became an active part of his ife.

This post is fucking dead on balls accurate. The kid is not being challenged enough and is bored. Hopefully you can help him find an outlet for it, otherwise he is going to be very restless as he gets older.

This is spot on. He's been this way all of his life. It's always been a struggle in school because he's typically bored in regular classes and will fail because he won't do the work, but they can't put him in advanced classes because he'd rather read than do the classwork or homework, so he falls behind.

Hopefully he only learns some of Robert's good sides, and not the severly twisted and mental shit that dude has going on upstairs

I was shocked when I learned that he has a filter.

As some my try to deny it, genetics have a bit to do with who we are as people. As he gets older and becomes more aware of who he wants to be, your son will hopefully make conscience decisions to disregard the natural behaviours and thought processes that he got obviously got from his dad. I'm by no means saying that it's an excuse, but simply an explanation for his behaviour. We are very much different from our parents in many ways, but we also share some basic brain chemistry, that effect our emotions and intellect in a similar way it does our parents in some basic ways.

Hopefully as he grows up he will eventually see how that train of thought has made his dad so worthless, and try very hard not to follow in is footsteps. In extreme cases some kids follow in the footsteps of thier parents, and others do everything in their power to go the opposite direction.

I appreciate all of the reassurance and constructive opinions, guys, and thanks for letting me vent.

[BlackSnake]

I don't think he really understands that it's a bad thing.
A couple examples, my ex paid the kids for their chores. If they did everything on their list, they would make a dollar per chore. If they didn't do a chore and he had to, they'd pay HIM $2. My oldest figured out the bare minimum he'd have to do to break even.

Last week, the boys asked if they could do something for cash, so we told them they could pick dandelions. If they got the tap root, they made 10 cents per weed, if they just got the top, it was a penny. They had the opportunity to make quite a bit of money, and the younger one happily pulled weeds until dark to get as much money as he could. The oldest one pulled just enough to get the minimum cash he needed for the carnival at school, and enlisted one of his friends to help him (for free) so they could go play.

So you think by telling him that his Dad is a POS will change him? Take some time and find some ways to teach him better. He is with you for the most part. Take advantage of that and help him to see who he needs to be as a man. Bad examples riddle our culture these days. Next it will be the teachers fault or the next door neighbors. BS...teach him.

[talisman]

This is spot on. He's been this way all of his life. It's always been a struggle in school because he's typically bored in regular classes and will fail because he won't do the work, but they can't put him in advanced classes because he'd rather read than do the classwork or homework, so he falls behind.

I'm not saying we need to do a paternity test or anything else that would ensnare me monetarily, but are you sure that kid isn't mine? LOL That just described my school life to a T.

[Captain Crawfish]

You have to learn the business before you can run the business. His dad's last job (and he had already graduated with his BS in history) was working in the stockroom at Hastings. He claims that they offered him a position as a manager, but he turned it down because he said he didn't want that much responsibility. He ended up quitting because he supposedly injured his wrist picking up a box, and he didn't think that being moved to cashier was light enough duty for his 'injury.'

poor guy sounds like he really wants to work just has bad luck.

[Grape]

tell the kid his father's an idiot, after a few years he will question why you let him put his cock in you.

[Treasure Chest]

tell the kid his father's an idiot, after a few years he will question why you let him put his cock in you.

Youth, rebellion, and stupidity. The true irony is that I married him before I let him put his cock in me.

[Smurfette]

Youth, rebellion, and stupidity. The true irony is that I married him before I let him put his cock in me.

Always test drive the car girlie...


Funny, every week when my ex drops off the kids I always think ..I can't believe I ever let you stick your dick in me. LMAO

[Treasure Chest]

Yes....then there's always the random thought, 'why did I have to be a faithful wife?!'

[Smurfette]

ABSOLUTELY! I put up with that shit for years and where did it get me???


I am right there with ya

[Grape]

Sounds like your sperm donors' sales pitch was more advanced than your education on being the consumer of cock.

[Up0n0ne]

Is it ever okay to tell your son his father is a POS?

No!