Favorite quotes

[Strychnine]

"Be two-beers confident."


"The trick is to realize that you are going to work 40+ hours a week until one day you don't feel too good, go the hospital on a Friday after work and die on Saturday. Do you really want to spend the time you have on this planet thinking about what might have been?"

[TENGRAM]

“When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.” - Adrian Pierce Rogers

[Baron Von Crowder]

"Racing makes a heroin addiction look like a vague craving for something salty" - Peter Egan

[idrivea4banger]

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn: I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops, or greasers; here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that? -Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

[78X]

"You know, Joe Rogan, this is not the first time I've tasted penis. I've had several! In my line of work, you taste penises all the time!"

"...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack. "

-Rick James

[Tx Redneck]

I just heard a good one.

"We're most like beasts when we kill, most like men when we judge but most like Christ when we forgive."

[orphan Shelby]

Biting the hand the feeds you will end up being an ass you have to kiss later. Mr Hensley,body shop teacher

[krazy kris]

"You know, Joe Rogan, this is not the first time I've tasted penis. I've had several! In my line of work, you taste penises all the time!"

"...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack. "

-tyrone biggums

fixed

[Up0n0ne]

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
-Anonymous

[71chevellejohn]

You can take a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but wouldn't you rather take the butcher's word for it?

-Tom Callahan

[Baron Von Crowder]

Biting the hand the feeds you will end up being attached to an ass you have to kiss later. Mr Hensley,body shop teacher

Fixed, and a very fine man.

[Wicked98Snake]

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
-Anonymous

I like that one.



"It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear.
Worry is rust upon the blade. It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery, but the friction.

[VaderTT]

"That's a very fine chardonnay you're drinking. I want you to clean your vagina."
-Patrick Bateman

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." -George Carlin

[forbes]

the bad thing about quotes on the internet is u never know how true that are ~~~ abraham lincoln

[71chevellejohn]

the bad thing about quotes on the internet is u never know how true that are ~~~ abraham lincoln

Nobody is going to believe that Lincoln would use "u" in place of "you" or "that" in place of "they".

-me