So

[Mike]

I feel like I'm the only person that ever posts here!

[ELVIS]

is this some sort of joke?

god bless.

[BradM]

I come to this forum when I'm in "the mood".

[Mike]

I come to this forum when I'm in "the mood".

I'm in the mood

[BMCSean]

That wasn't funny at all, I'm out of this thread!

[mstng86]

I hate you Mike.


Wait, which Mike is this?

[BMCSean]

MikeC

[BradM]

Mca

[Mike]

Compton Ass Mike

[Baron Von Crowder]

the joke forum is dead lately.

[mstng86]

the joke forum is dead lately.

Ever since that Rodney Dangerfield guy died.

[Mike]

Just saving some posts in the secret forum

Holy fuck, Paranoid Paula.....it's awfully cute that you think I have the will, desire, or give a fuck to intervene in your life. Let me address these accusations once and for all.


Part I: Your original shit spraying

1) I'm a thief
a) You drank your money-- While you were living off of me and making $12/hr, your money went to bar tabs and Harley's liquor. Bartenders don't name shots after you because you're making good life choices.
b) I'm a felon-- The only thing I could imagine this would be about would be a situation with a pool cue where I agreed to purchase it for $300, the dude wouldn't accept payment, tried selling it for $600 and attempted to extort another $150 out of me to "settle." His threats to report it as stolen were really amusing as it was a civil matter. Between a promise to turn over the chain of correspondence in response to any police report that may have been filed, and an offer to file a small claims petition and let the judge sort it out.
TL;DR He accepted $300 for the cue, and I'm the proud owner of a Josey custom.

2) I have "lost custody" of my children.
a) Completely unfounded, and you're a fucking idiot if you think I would ever engage in activities that would cause the courts to take my children from me.

3) I'm a cheater.
a) Have you two forgotten how to math? No one else around here has forgotten how to math.

4) I am currently unemployed.
a) The only valid statement you've made in this thread.
b) My company restructured and laid off all remote workers.

Part II: Your latest accusations

1) Stalking your house
a) You live on a road that cuts through to 281 without lights. You taught me the shortcut and it's the same one we always used to access I-20.
b) By the same logic, I'm also stalking your father's business when I use 259 to come into town.

2) I locked your phone
a) I got tired of you accessing my iTunes account, so I changed the password.

3) I've had the Sheriff's department harass you
a) My family no longer has ties to the Gregg County sheriff's department.
b) You have enough of a reputation in Gregg county through your own bad choices.
c) Stop breaking the law, asshole.

4) Lying to anyone who will listen.
a) I'm not the one who went on a smear campaign after papers were filed.
b) Your deflection made so much sense after math came into play.

Part III: Other accusations you've made

1) I stole your dog and took him to the shelter.
a) I was working in Nebraska
b) Your dog got out (again) due to your lack of supervision.
c) Your dog is the only thing about you that I like. He's a cool mother fucker, why would I jeopardize his life?

In conclusion, it seems that the 15 selfies a day your girlfriend posts to Facebook aren't garnering enough attention and your 5th chin got bored enough to post this bullshit. I've moved on...find someone else to harass and leave me the fuck alone.

Completely false on every account.
I'll respond to this as soon as I get done with these doctor's appointments.

You know what? You're 100% correct. I've stayed out of it for two and a half years and he finally pushed the right buttons to get a response out of me. I'm done. He can say whatever the fuck he thinks he needs, and I'll go back to taking the high road.

Taking the high road?
You've perpetuated everything up to this point on a local level.

1) a. Thievery. You transferred $12k from my hobby account. When I confronted you with the bank statements, you begged for mercy and promised to pay it back. That never happened.
Those bar tabs were your doing. After we split, my tab never broke $20.
Yes, there is a shot named after me. It's a bad motherfucker.
b. The felony is in regards to what you did with that jeep that was supposed to get repoed. You did the paperwork shuffle and walked away with cash, a mustang, and pissed off sales manager who couldn't press charges because of their other cooked books.

2) Do you have custody? Going out to bars every night isn't exactly awesome behavior. Remember, we live in a small town and everyone gossips.

3) The dude you're with now is who you were cheating with when you were working for New Crop. I know for a fact he was married then and haven't found proof of his divorce now.

4) Stalking- not merely passing by. Slowing down, staring, and speeding off when caught.

Locking my phone. I never accessed your iTunes. I had my own that you setup. I had forgotten that it was connected to your cloud.
You got mad that I wouldn't allow you to grab my phone while playing in a pool tournament at The Wicked Kitty and locked it.
Good thing they make software for ripping old info from a locked phone. Funny that all of those deleted pics you took while it was your phone popped up.
The sheriff that harassed me got reprimanded internally. He admitted to going on a date with you. You told him some pretty whacked out stuff.
I have driven while intoxicated. Just like you. Remember when you ran into a tree leaving the bar, so I was gracious enough to make sure you got home safe?
It really sucked that I had to leave Will's BMW in your driveway because you laid down behind the wheels keeping me from leaving. Luckily, Tawny picked me up so I didn't have to walk all the home.

The ladies at the humane society are not legally allowed to identify who brings in a dog, but my description was spot on.

Oh, I took care of the other debts you left me with, but can I get a forwarding number for all of the collectors trying to find you?

You've been stirring this pot since August 2013. Remember I live here in your town, in the real world, not the board. I know what's actually going on, being said, etc. You knowing where I live and what I post to FB proves you're full of shit as far as taking the high road.

As far as math... None of you seem to be able to figure it out... I met Robert on Monday 8/12/13.... You guys split in June 2013. Xander was conceived in mid Aug 2013. You & Robert split in June 2013. Your divorce was finalized at the end of August 2013. It's pretty simple math.

There's no question I cheated, I've never denied it or justified it. We know you were cheating before you and Robert split up... Except I guess you won't admit it since he too was/is married.

Oh and for those who say this can't end well... I disagree. I have a damn cute kid, a solid relationship (1.5 yrs in) and we are about to close on an awesome lakeside home. Couldn't be happier...

Robert, Jenn, Kristen, SHUT THE FUCK UP. None of you need to smear the others, and Im sure the mud slinging can go on for a long time and get nasty. It wont help anything other than to cure the onlooker's boredom.

[Snatch Napkin]

Nice.

[Gasser64]

Why these two people would choose to hash out their problems on a public message board...

[BP]

There is a secret forum?