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I want to apologize for my awful behavior in the Theology Corner a while ago when I was posting.
I've been in Recovery (12 Step) for a couple of years now so that I can address my behavior and the issues that cause it. I'm on Step 9, which is making amends. I go to those I've harmed and apologize, then ask them if there's anything I can do to make it right. I'd like to do that now.
I came in here and acted like I knew it all. I was arrogant and disrespectful. I treated the religious people like they were idiots if they didn't believe the way I did. I treated the Atheists as if they were idiots and knew nothing about life. I "corrected" people when they believed something differently than me, as if I were the "religion" police. I was rude and inconsiderate. I made personal attacks and tried to "cleverly" conceal them. I treated you all with incredible disrespect, thinking I was better than others.
The truth is that I had such an incredibly low self-image that I was using my knowledge to make myself feel better at the expense of others. I thought if I "helped" others, it would make me happier and give me importance, because I felt insignificant. I was wrong about a great many things, and I pushed those things on others. I was the one who needed help, not you guys. You guys were acting with far more respect and kindness than I was, and you knew a lot more about life than me. You treated me so much better than I treated you. I was a jerk, and there's absolutely no excuse for the way I treated all of you. If someone treated me the way I treated all of you, I'd feel awful. I'd want to ban the person from the forum. And yet you guys and the admins were so patient with me. Thank you for that. I definitely did not deserve that much kindness.
This is for you guys, but it's also for me. Humiliation is exactly what a prideful person like me needs. Making right what I've done wrong helps, too. I was so fake when I was here and didn't even realize it. It takes some pain for me to be knocked down to size by admitting this stuff, but it's really helping. It's nice to finally be real--to be me--instead of a jerk. It's nice to be able to appreciate everyone and their beliefs for who they are instead of judging them because they believe differently than me. I couldn't honestly do that before, and I'm so sorry about that. I can't believe you all and the administrators were so patient with me.
I don't remember the names of the people I treated abusively in here, except for Phillystang. So, if I treated you badly in any way, please let me know what I did to you and if there's anything I can do to make it right. (Cephyr13@yahoo.com)
I've been in Recovery (12 Step) for a couple of years now so that I can address my behavior and the issues that cause it. I'm on Step 9, which is making amends. I go to those I've harmed and apologize, then ask them if there's anything I can do to make it right. I'd like to do that now.
I came in here and acted like I knew it all. I was arrogant and disrespectful. I treated the religious people like they were idiots if they didn't believe the way I did. I treated the Atheists as if they were idiots and knew nothing about life. I "corrected" people when they believed something differently than me, as if I were the "religion" police. I was rude and inconsiderate. I made personal attacks and tried to "cleverly" conceal them. I treated you all with incredible disrespect, thinking I was better than others.
The truth is that I had such an incredibly low self-image that I was using my knowledge to make myself feel better at the expense of others. I thought if I "helped" others, it would make me happier and give me importance, because I felt insignificant. I was wrong about a great many things, and I pushed those things on others. I was the one who needed help, not you guys. You guys were acting with far more respect and kindness than I was, and you knew a lot more about life than me. You treated me so much better than I treated you. I was a jerk, and there's absolutely no excuse for the way I treated all of you. If someone treated me the way I treated all of you, I'd feel awful. I'd want to ban the person from the forum. And yet you guys and the admins were so patient with me. Thank you for that. I definitely did not deserve that much kindness.
This is for you guys, but it's also for me. Humiliation is exactly what a prideful person like me needs. Making right what I've done wrong helps, too. I was so fake when I was here and didn't even realize it. It takes some pain for me to be knocked down to size by admitting this stuff, but it's really helping. It's nice to finally be real--to be me--instead of a jerk. It's nice to be able to appreciate everyone and their beliefs for who they are instead of judging them because they believe differently than me. I couldn't honestly do that before, and I'm so sorry about that. I can't believe you all and the administrators were so patient with me.
I don't remember the names of the people I treated abusively in here, except for Phillystang. So, if I treated you badly in any way, please let me know what I did to you and if there's anything I can do to make it right. (Cephyr13@yahoo.com)
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