Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Sad but true... and a little funny.

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Sad but true... and a little funny.

    Saw this posted on my uncle's facebook and thought I'd share.

    -------------

    THE $2.00 BILL I TRIED TO SPEND:

    IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A RIOT!

    Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!!

    I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

    STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

    Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'


    Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'

    Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

    Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'


    He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

    Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
    Manager: 'No. A what?'
    Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
    Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
    Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

    He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'

    Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
    Server: 'I don't know.'
    Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
    Server: 'Yeah.'
    Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
    Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

    He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

    Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
    Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
    Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
    Server: 'What should I do?'
    Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
    Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
    Manager: 'Just tell him.'
    Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

    The manager approaches me and says,
    'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

    Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
    Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
    Me: 'Why not?'
    Manager: 'I think you know why.'
    Me: 'No really, tell me why.'

    Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
    Me: 'Excuse me?'
    Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
    Me: 'What on earth for?'
    Manager: 'Please, sir..'

    Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
    Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
    Me: 'No.'
    Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
    Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

    At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

    A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

    Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
    Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
    Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
    Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
    Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
    Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
    Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
    Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
    Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
    Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
    Guard: 'Yeah.'

    Security Guard walks over to me and......
    Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
    Me: 'Uh, no.'
    Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
    Me: 'Why?'
    Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

    At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

    I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
    Manager: 'It's fake.'
    Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
    Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
    Guard: 'Yeah? '
    Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

    The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot.

    So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

    Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

    Just think... those two are of the age to be voting!!!

    NOW do you understand why and how Obama got a 2nd term?
    When the government pays, the government controls.

  • #2
    Lmao
    sigpic18 F150 Supercrew - daily
    17 F150 Supercrew - totaled Dec 12, 2018
    13 DIB Premium GT, M6, Track Pack, Glass Roof, Nav, Recaros - Sold
    86 SVO - Sold
    '03 F150 Supercrew - Sold
    01 TJ - new toy - Sold
    65 F100 (460 + C6) - Sold

    Comment


    • #3
      I remember the first time I read that in 1993.

      Comment


      • #4
        i paid toll on the Bay Bridge this weekind in $2 bills. Girl looked very perplexed, but let me through.

        Comment


        • #5
          The people that won't take dollar coins are the ones that bug me. The tards at the movie theater still think they're fake, and I've been in there with them at least 3 times.
          ZOMBIE REAGAN FOR PRESIDENT 2016!!! heh

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by YALE View Post
            The people that won't take dollar coins are the ones that bug me. The tards at the movie theater still think they're fake, and I've been in there with them at least 3 times.
            The real question is wtf are you still doing with the dollar coins.

            I might of had two since they came out.

            Comment


            • #7
              post office
              THE BAD HOMBRE

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by naynay View Post
                post office
                Ain't nuthin wrong with a little Sacajawea action!
                Originally posted by PGreenCobra
                I can't get over the fact that you get to go live the rest of your life, knowing that someone made a Halloween costume out of you. LMAO!!
                Originally posted by Trip McNeely
                Originally posted by dsrtuckteezy
                dont downshift!!
                Go do a whooly in front of a Peterbilt.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Sleeper View Post
                  The real question is wtf are you still doing with the dollar coins.

                  I might of had two since they came out.
                  There's one vending machine company in this town, and all their change machines give dollar coins.
                  ZOMBIE REAGAN FOR PRESIDENT 2016!!! heh

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by talisman View Post
                    I remember the first time I read that in 1993.
                    Somebody check the fax machine and see if there are any good jokes!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Sleeper View Post
                      The real question is wtf are you still doing with the dollar coins.

                      I might of had two since they came out.
                      I got about 5 of them in my pocket right now. Took the kids to 6 flags and all of the vending machines out there give them out as change.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Lason View Post
                        I got about 5 of them in my pocket right now. Took the kids to 6 flags and all of the vending machines out there give them out as change.
                        That's just so they can get it back from your pockets after riding the rides.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          About 20 years ago, I had an 89 mustang GT that the clutch went out on, so I had a buddy replace it for me while i was out of town. I went out of town for a company conference-awards ceremony, where they handed out $26,000 in 2 dollar bills (kinda like a bonus/award). This company got them from the bank, in $100 value pads, attached along the top with glue binding, new, sequential, and just tear/pull them off as you need them. I traded with my coworkers for about $350 worth, and when I got back, paid my friend in them for the clutch job. He wasn't having any of that shit.
                          Ronald Reagan:"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."

                          Homer: "Bart...there's 2 things I know about women. Never give them nicknames like "jumbo" or "boxcar" and always keep receipts...it makes you look like a business man."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I still carry a $2 bill in my wallet been in there for a long time. I get the dollar coins at work occasionally from the vending machine, kids love them.
                            "It's another burrito, it's a cold Lone Star in my hand!"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Sleeper View Post
                              The real question is wtf are you still doing with the dollar coins.

                              I might of had two since they came out.
                              All the change/vending machines at work use them. Nothing like being a dime short for a damn Pepsi, and having to get $20 worth of dollar coins and quarters.
                              sigpic18 F150 Supercrew - daily
                              17 F150 Supercrew - totaled Dec 12, 2018
                              13 DIB Premium GT, M6, Track Pack, Glass Roof, Nav, Recaros - Sold
                              86 SVO - Sold
                              '03 F150 Supercrew - Sold
                              01 TJ - new toy - Sold
                              65 F100 (460 + C6) - Sold

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X