How to convert an atheist....

[sc281]

Torah/The Penateuch are less than 2K years old?

Love how you pick out the first five books of the Jewish Tanakh to refute that the New Testament isn't only 2k years old.

The 'HOLY BIBLE' is a hodgepodge of books crammed together by an Emperor and his religious court in 200AD +/-, like I said.

*Swing and a miss*

[The King]

The first five books of the Bible are indeed a part of the Bible, a very important part.

Again, you fail.

[sc281]

Hey guys,

I'm forming a new religion called. well let's call it 'Fistianity'

Here's my game plan. Find some old relgions, steal some of their holy writings (to give my religion the illusion that It's been around forever, and pass this off in a book me and some guys will put together when we find the books we want in there.

Suggestions?

So far I gots:

1. Cause all the cool religions gots it in theirs.

The Jewish Bible, or Tanakh, is divided into three parts: (1) the five books of the Torah ("teaching" or "law") comprise the origins of the Israelite nation, its laws and its covenant with the God of Israel.

2. The apocryphal texts, ya know the ones that Emperor Constantine and his peeps thought they were too cool to put them in their Bible.
List includes, but not limited to:
The Gospel of Enoch
The dead sea scrolls - Gospel of Thomas etc.
The Gospel of Mary, actually scratch that one. Like Christianity, my religion too believes that Women are inferior to Man, so I shall exclude this Gospel for this same reason the Bible did.

3. Some passages from the Koran.
(Islam references Jesus as a "prophet" so I will to. Gives my book some 'street cred' )[/B]

4. The Art of War - the Gospel of Sun tzu (Nice ring to it, eh?)

throw in some Shakespeare, some self help books by Dr. Phil ( to give my followers the warm and fuzzies when the come to our weekly gatherings.... so they put more into my pockets er I mean GODS pockets.

and Viola.

I give you the
Supreme - Because my religion is the best
Canon - because it is recognized and accepted by all the world (except the pagans)
281 the number of days it took me err God to create the world. ( So my God is a procrastinator. ANYONE could make the Earth in 6 days, but he doesn't adhere to a mortal 'schedule'


Whadda ya think?

[The King]

Last edited by sc281; Today at 06:07 PM.

LOL

[sc281]

Last edited by sc281; Today at 06:07 PM.

LOL

Yup, had to throw some sexism in there. (bold) All the cool religions have it.

[The King]

I don't know what you're referring to, I only looked at and quoted the last line.

[sc281]

I don't know what you're referring to, I only looked at and quoted the last line.

The reason for my editing my religous post/book.

Your religion can relate on the idea of editing, no?

You revise your books to show your agenda. (Council of Mycene)

I'll just call my revised text "The New Fistian Testament"

[The King]

Don't care

[564826]

How to convert an atheist...
Gun and Bible!
If they still do not repent and become believers, you make them a Martyr for the nonbelievers.

[The King]

Nah, guns are what nonbelievers use against elected officials, old folks, and 9-year olds.

[davbrucas]

Nah, guns are what nonbelievers use against elected officials, old folks, and 9-year olds.

Yup. I am sure that some of those Somalis I blasted fit into the above categories.

[The King]

Yup. I am sure that some of those Somalis I blasted fit into the above categories.

No doubt, and thank you for your service.

[jdgregory84]

Nah, guns are what nonbelievers use against elected officials, old folks, and 9-year olds.

...and what believers use against filthy non-believing indians.

[racrguy]

...and what believers use against filthy non-believing indians.

And Jews

[The King]

...and what believers use against filthy non-believing indians.

and what some non-believers hiding behind radical Islam use against everybody (i.e. infidels) but themselves.