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There have been several threads in the past (on the old site) detailing what he has been going through... I will just copy and paste the links below along with the old posts in-case u are banned from the old site...
Long story short, my brother is losing his battle with cancer.
He had a doctors appointment yesterday, and his oncologist told him that he has lost too much weight, and is too weak to continue treatments. The doctor told him his time would be best spent at home, with hospice care, so that he can be comfortable. We know this doctor, and he wouldn't say this shit just to blow him off....
I am just at a loss for words. We lost our mother shortly before my 18th birthday. That was HARD. But I think I was too much of an adolescent to understand the severity... I was still in a "my Mom CANT die, that just doesn't happen to people I know" state of mind. Ignorant I agree and will have to live with it the rest of my life.
But now, I have watched my 35 year old brother suffer for years. And I can say with every ounce of my being that I absolutely HATE what is happening to him. Nobody deserves to go out like this. I am speechless when he is crying to me, not knowing what to do, feeling helpless. He can't understand why he has always been able to fix all kinds of shit... but for some reason can't fix this. He is scared, mad, angry, regretful, all of the above and more. And so am I. He lives a life now of pain meds, patches, and agony. He is on enough pain meds to kill a person. Shit I've never heard of. Fentora 800, Morphine patches, etc. Every couple of hours he's having to re-dose just to tolerate the pain. And to top that, he can't get comfortable. He cannot sit down. He cannot lay down. The only fucking thing he can do is put 2 pillows on the floor by the bed, get down on his knees, and lay the top half of his body across the bed. He can lay on his stomach about twice a day for an hour or so at a time. This is how he sleeps, eats, lives. Its absolutely miserable. He can't walk well, cant drive, cant ride in a car, cant stand long, etc. And just to fucking rub it in some more, this FUCKED UP CANCER is eating through his skin around his groin area and behind his nuts. So now he has to wear a diaper. He has hoses and shit coming from various places on his body, 3 different bags attached to him, fuck me.
I don't know what else to say or do. I live in another state 6 hours away from him, and it seems like I do things to keep myself busy so I don't think about it. But then, I feel like I am ignoring the situation like I did in the past with my mother, and do NOT want to do that again. So I try to think about it, but it hurts so fucking much.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to tell him. He is seeking comfort from me, and as you can tell from the run-on sentences, I am a total ass emotional wreck over this.
Links to the old story:
http://www.dfwstangs.net/forums/showthread.php?t=390700
o, 12-9-2007 (which is his b-day) my brother found out he had anal cancer. He has had a long and very painfull battle. They started with a 7 week regiment of chemo and radiation treatment 5 days a week. 7 weeks later, the cancer was gone! BUT, the radiation cause some pretty severe damage to his internals. It burned a hole in his urethra tube, which carries urine from the bladder, through the prostate, to his penis. So as a result he was pissing out his ass, which cause some infection. Several months of this, resulted in a ileostomy, which is where they cut your small intestine and pull it out the side of your stomach and attach a bag to catch all the liquid shit before it reaches the colon. They also put in a cathiter through his dick to keep his urethra tube from closing up, and put another cathiter through his abdomen straight into his bladder that drained the urine into a bag on his leg. We then learned of a doctor in California that has pioneered a treatment for urethral fistulas (holes in the urethra) so his main concern was keeping that urethra tube from closing up so he might be able to get if fixed some day. His urologist was 100% against this and kept pushing him to cut everything out and slap a bag on him for life. He suffered like this for a few months, still having problems like urine, feces, and blood running out his ass and severe pain. He went back in for surgery and his peice of shit urologist decided on his own while my brother was put to sleep that he needed to remove the cathiter in his penis because it enlarged the hole in his urethra. My brother went to California on May 12th to meet this doctor we have heard such great things about. They did an exploritory surgery yesterday, and found out that the radiation had melted all of his organs together into a large softball size lump they are calling a void. As a result, they are not able to repair the damage he has. I've got to say, this has really taken such a toll on my brother. I hate that he is having to deal with this, especially at such an early age (33). He did get some good news though, they believe he may have a chance in 3 or 4 years to have some reconstructive surgery to repair atleast one side of him (the urine side). But for now, they can't do anything. They will be scheduling some surgeries to make some changes the other incompetent doctors performed here in Dallas to help improve is way of life.
Im not a religous man by any means, but dammit this hurts and i just wish I "believed" in something or someone. At this point Im just at a loss. We lost our mom to cancer in 2000... I just dont see how this shit happens to good people when there are so many others out there who would be better suited for a problem like this (ie child sex offenders, people who have committed murder, etc). Anyways, point being, if anyone is having cancer related troubles, and you are tired of having the door slammed in ur face with the generic answers, the doctors he has worked with in California are a different breed. They are people who truly seem to care. They are concerned with his quality of life which, to this point (approx 9 doctors later) nobody has seemed to give two shits about. Im glad that they are going to make some improvements for him, and have also said they want to do all the surgeries so that if they can fix stuff in the future, the chances haven't been ruined by other doctors cutting stuff out that he may need if they are to reconstruct him. The name of the hospital is City of Hope. www.cityofhope.org I will be donating to this organization now, and Im more tight with my money than a jew. But i honestly believe they are the best thing for cancer.... lots of medical treatment breakthroughs coming from these guys. Thanks for listening.
http://www.dfwstangs.net/forums/showthread.php?t=393759
Its been a LOOOOONG 2 and a half years, especially for my brother... For those that dont remember, he had anal cancer, radiation fucked him up internally causing all kinds of damage, etc. So, he went to City of Hope in Los Angeles, CA where he has been for the past 6 weeks... They did a 12.5 hour surgery removing his colon, rectum, anus, bladder, pubic bone, prostate, and some small intestine. Lots of plastic surgery to close up his buttocks, and about 300 stitches. He cant sit for 2 - 3 months depending on how the radiated tissue heals.... but he is now able to get up and walk on his own etc. So, if he cant sit... how's he going to fly home you ask!? Well I'll tell you! GraceFlight (www.graceflight.com) has arranged a donated plane from Flex Jet to go pick him up and bring him home! Yes, thats right... a free ride in a PRIVATE JET! (Learjet 45XR to be exact) So he can now lay down for the flight, and not have to go through security BS etc. I can't thank these guys enough... without this opportunity and them giving like this, he would be staying out there for another 3 months minimum... And his wife would either have to quit her job, or come back home by herself (she has been out there with him this entire time) This is going to be the shit! We are leaving tomorrow morning.... I'll post pics of the trip!
Oh, and btw... he is cancer free now. Never give up.
Here are a few pics of him walking for the first time a week and a half ago:
Long story short, my brother is losing his battle with cancer.
He had a doctors appointment yesterday, and his oncologist told him that he has lost too much weight, and is too weak to continue treatments. The doctor told him his time would be best spent at home, with hospice care, so that he can be comfortable. We know this doctor, and he wouldn't say this shit just to blow him off....
I am just at a loss for words. We lost our mother shortly before my 18th birthday. That was HARD. But I think I was too much of an adolescent to understand the severity... I was still in a "my Mom CANT die, that just doesn't happen to people I know" state of mind. Ignorant I agree and will have to live with it the rest of my life.
But now, I have watched my 35 year old brother suffer for years. And I can say with every ounce of my being that I absolutely HATE what is happening to him. Nobody deserves to go out like this. I am speechless when he is crying to me, not knowing what to do, feeling helpless. He can't understand why he has always been able to fix all kinds of shit... but for some reason can't fix this. He is scared, mad, angry, regretful, all of the above and more. And so am I. He lives a life now of pain meds, patches, and agony. He is on enough pain meds to kill a person. Shit I've never heard of. Fentora 800, Morphine patches, etc. Every couple of hours he's having to re-dose just to tolerate the pain. And to top that, he can't get comfortable. He cannot sit down. He cannot lay down. The only fucking thing he can do is put 2 pillows on the floor by the bed, get down on his knees, and lay the top half of his body across the bed. He can lay on his stomach about twice a day for an hour or so at a time. This is how he sleeps, eats, lives. Its absolutely miserable. He can't walk well, cant drive, cant ride in a car, cant stand long, etc. And just to fucking rub it in some more, this FUCKED UP CANCER is eating through his skin around his groin area and behind his nuts. So now he has to wear a diaper. He has hoses and shit coming from various places on his body, 3 different bags attached to him, fuck me.
I don't know what else to say or do. I live in another state 6 hours away from him, and it seems like I do things to keep myself busy so I don't think about it. But then, I feel like I am ignoring the situation like I did in the past with my mother, and do NOT want to do that again. So I try to think about it, but it hurts so fucking much.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to tell him. He is seeking comfort from me, and as you can tell from the run-on sentences, I am a total ass emotional wreck over this.
Links to the old story:
http://www.dfwstangs.net/forums/showthread.php?t=390700
o, 12-9-2007 (which is his b-day) my brother found out he had anal cancer. He has had a long and very painfull battle. They started with a 7 week regiment of chemo and radiation treatment 5 days a week. 7 weeks later, the cancer was gone! BUT, the radiation cause some pretty severe damage to his internals. It burned a hole in his urethra tube, which carries urine from the bladder, through the prostate, to his penis. So as a result he was pissing out his ass, which cause some infection. Several months of this, resulted in a ileostomy, which is where they cut your small intestine and pull it out the side of your stomach and attach a bag to catch all the liquid shit before it reaches the colon. They also put in a cathiter through his dick to keep his urethra tube from closing up, and put another cathiter through his abdomen straight into his bladder that drained the urine into a bag on his leg. We then learned of a doctor in California that has pioneered a treatment for urethral fistulas (holes in the urethra) so his main concern was keeping that urethra tube from closing up so he might be able to get if fixed some day. His urologist was 100% against this and kept pushing him to cut everything out and slap a bag on him for life. He suffered like this for a few months, still having problems like urine, feces, and blood running out his ass and severe pain. He went back in for surgery and his peice of shit urologist decided on his own while my brother was put to sleep that he needed to remove the cathiter in his penis because it enlarged the hole in his urethra. My brother went to California on May 12th to meet this doctor we have heard such great things about. They did an exploritory surgery yesterday, and found out that the radiation had melted all of his organs together into a large softball size lump they are calling a void. As a result, they are not able to repair the damage he has. I've got to say, this has really taken such a toll on my brother. I hate that he is having to deal with this, especially at such an early age (33). He did get some good news though, they believe he may have a chance in 3 or 4 years to have some reconstructive surgery to repair atleast one side of him (the urine side). But for now, they can't do anything. They will be scheduling some surgeries to make some changes the other incompetent doctors performed here in Dallas to help improve is way of life.
Im not a religous man by any means, but dammit this hurts and i just wish I "believed" in something or someone. At this point Im just at a loss. We lost our mom to cancer in 2000... I just dont see how this shit happens to good people when there are so many others out there who would be better suited for a problem like this (ie child sex offenders, people who have committed murder, etc). Anyways, point being, if anyone is having cancer related troubles, and you are tired of having the door slammed in ur face with the generic answers, the doctors he has worked with in California are a different breed. They are people who truly seem to care. They are concerned with his quality of life which, to this point (approx 9 doctors later) nobody has seemed to give two shits about. Im glad that they are going to make some improvements for him, and have also said they want to do all the surgeries so that if they can fix stuff in the future, the chances haven't been ruined by other doctors cutting stuff out that he may need if they are to reconstruct him. The name of the hospital is City of Hope. www.cityofhope.org I will be donating to this organization now, and Im more tight with my money than a jew. But i honestly believe they are the best thing for cancer.... lots of medical treatment breakthroughs coming from these guys. Thanks for listening.
http://www.dfwstangs.net/forums/showthread.php?t=393759
Its been a LOOOOONG 2 and a half years, especially for my brother... For those that dont remember, he had anal cancer, radiation fucked him up internally causing all kinds of damage, etc. So, he went to City of Hope in Los Angeles, CA where he has been for the past 6 weeks... They did a 12.5 hour surgery removing his colon, rectum, anus, bladder, pubic bone, prostate, and some small intestine. Lots of plastic surgery to close up his buttocks, and about 300 stitches. He cant sit for 2 - 3 months depending on how the radiated tissue heals.... but he is now able to get up and walk on his own etc. So, if he cant sit... how's he going to fly home you ask!? Well I'll tell you! GraceFlight (www.graceflight.com) has arranged a donated plane from Flex Jet to go pick him up and bring him home! Yes, thats right... a free ride in a PRIVATE JET! (Learjet 45XR to be exact) So he can now lay down for the flight, and not have to go through security BS etc. I can't thank these guys enough... without this opportunity and them giving like this, he would be staying out there for another 3 months minimum... And his wife would either have to quit her job, or come back home by herself (she has been out there with him this entire time) This is going to be the shit! We are leaving tomorrow morning.... I'll post pics of the trip!
Oh, and btw... he is cancer free now. Never give up.
Here are a few pics of him walking for the first time a week and a half ago:
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